his love endures forever;

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Today didn't really start off well... lesson was in classroom 4 again and once again i was feeling along sitting at the end of the row... started thinking of stuff again... this has been on my mind for like quite a while. was thinking abt it on the bus yesterday too...

I was quite depressed thinking about it. like how come nothing seems to be working out. I'm not doing fantastically well in church, at least i don't think so. Neither am I doing well in school. And there seems to be only these 2 major things in my life. And I am good at neither. Maybe I should just focus and be good at one instead of trying to do both and not doing well for both.

And comparing the 2, giving up church seems more likely. Cuz I don't seem to have a 'future' in church since I will be going to china next year. Nobody will want me to do stuff that I cannot commit to for a long period of time. but school isn't too happy either. feel left out by my friends sometimes. maybe it's really me overthinking again. but thinking of the fact that i have to go china for 2 years and live with them doesn't exactly make me want to jump for joy.

And I was also begrudging the fact that I got a word during church camp which gave me hope but after that nothing seemed to happen and it seems like my hope was going to vanish and that it was just all me thinking and hoping too much.

But after talking to Isaac, he reminded me of the fact that I can serve God anywhere. Which reminded me of the thought I had about going to China and learning chinese and serving in a chinese church which will give me a whole new experience. He also said that God may be moulding me in different areas. And that what I am doing now is preparing me for what I have to do in the future.

Well, now I am a bit more sure that I really am supposed to go to China. And the thought of going to and serving in a church there gives me some hope :) And I also think that God is trying to take me out of my comfort zone, and not let me remain in where I have always been so that I can grow and mature.

But for now, I think I have to serve with more joy. And put all negative thoughts aside. And for now, as in like this very moment, STUDY! :)

trumpets forever - 9:30 PM :)

Thursday, September 06, 2012

Not exactly the time to blog but oh wells! I am going to sleep! Too many things to remember for acupuncture :/ They somehow think we have superb memory... despite studying for so long, my brain seems empty o.o

I shall try to blog more after mid terms and keep on blogging cuz it's always good to have a record of your life so that you can come back and see how childish and immature you were last time right? haha :)

Time to zzz.... so tmr I will have energy to reach into the far corners of my brain to dig out the info that i've cramped in for the last few days... goodnight!

trumpets forever - 11:18 PM :)