I suddenly feel like blogging despite having much work to do. I'm tired after the first day of school. And maybe I am just kind of not very happy. I don't really know if the Hong Kong trip turned out good or bad. It showed me how easily replaced I was and it wasn't a really good feeling. But then thinking about it, I wonder if it is ultimately the consequences of my own choice. Maybe I just haven't been putting in enough to get back what I think I should. Things seem to be getting awkward but I realised I don't exactly know how I want things to be either. No use wishing things could go back to as they were before cuz we can never go back in time. And also if I were really that replaceable, would I want to be ignorant about it and live in the delusion that I am kind of important.
Or maybe I am just thinking too much. Maybe my reluctance to clarify stuff because of my fears are what's causing me to think and speculate so much. Maybe what I see is really not how things actually are. I really have no idea though.
Just one week, and I feel far away from everyone. I wonder what will happen in 2 years.
Regardless, it's time to study hard. Suddenly feel like giving up everything else.