I'm actually really tired but well decided to blog. and not going to narrate. have a few things to say actually but don't know if i should say it here. don't think it's going to change anything and it may just make some ppl upset. and since i don't like it, i shouldn't do it right? but i guess i'm just too cowardly to talk face to face or it's just that i normally get swayed by the people's opinions when i heard their side of the story. like when 2 ppl come and tell me 2 different sides of a story, i don't think i've really taken a stand unless it's very obvious that one party is wrong.
i'm not angry or upset at you. it's just that what you say make me feel lousy about myself. Not your fault, just that I don't think I take it well. Like I already know that I don't do it well, I don't need you to remind me. And when you do, I put myself down even more. Like how lousy I am and stuff. But the fact is I know I shouldn't be doing that. Cuz like God made us, so when I put myself down, I'm telling God that He didn't do a good job. And I fully know that I shouldn't be doing it. So I was upset for doing something that I know I shouldn't be doing. But I'm fine already yup. I think only one person who reads this will understand this haha.
It's all about God and not about us. God has this specific way of living that He wants us to live- a life without sin, a life that is pleasing to Him. But very often, we don't know the exact standards or we simply forget. That's why God put people esp elders around us. To teach us when we don't know and to remind us when we forget. But I know it's not very easy to obey. Sometimes, I just refuse to do something simply because I'm told to do it. Like I just want to rebel. I know I shouldn't do it. But I really don't want to simply do what people tell me to do. And I found the best solution is to just do the right thing. Do what you're supposed to do before anyone needs to tell or remind you. Don't know the standards? Read the Bible.