germaine

2012-01-23T21:51:00.003+08:00

It's Chinese New Year! But somehow this year I don't feel the festive spirit :( I spent the whole of last week wishing for cny to come but now that it's here, I'm wishing that I can go back to school.

The only fun part of today was dressing up. Then visitation seemed routine and was also relatively boring. All we did was sit around and watch tv or play cards.

And now that I'm home, I have no idea what to do. I guess it's okay to slack since it's cny. But I have stuff to study (though not very urgent) and there's nothing slackish that I really want to do. Cannot watch show. Nobody to talk to. Nothing to do on facebook. Don't feel like playing games. And also don't want to study. I am bored. What i wouldn't mind doing right now is to go and sleep. What a sad chinese new year :/

And tmr I guess my dad wants me to stay home and study. There's nowhere that i really want to go but staying home to study during cny is just sad. Now I wonder how come cny could be so fun last time and why is it so different now. I guess it's just cuz we have all grown up. We no longer play and have fun.

I am bored and a bit tired. Maybe I should go and sleep, at 10pm, earlier than my bedtime on schooldays, simply because I have nothing to do.

2012-01-18T22:22:00.002+08:00

I decided to blog! simply because I haven't blogged for very long... and i'm a bit bored studying :p

I am excited that we're having a new youth pastor! :) and that she is coming quite soon... like after chinese new year... and also chinese new year is going to be here really really soon! can't wait for the next 2 days of school to be over then there will be a really long break yay! (: there's steamboat on sat and sun night awesome :) though i'll prob end up eating more than i would want to :/ oh wells... can go on diet after chinese new year. it's only once a year! cannot miss out :p

I have decided to study harder this sem! cuz after 3 sems of not doing that well, it's time to do well! and also cuz i want to win the challenge haha! though i dunno what prize i want... hmm...

fang ji has SO many things to rmb though... oh man... quite crazy... and it's 8AUs :/ so must start memorizing now and hope that they all go into my long term memory... God will help me! :)

2011-09-10T01:12:00.003+08:00

Nothing you can do to make Him love you more
And nothing that you've done could make Him close the door
Because of His great love He gave His only Son
Everything was done so you would come

Come to the Father
Though your gift is small
Broken hearts broken lives
He will take them all
The power of His love
The power of His blood
Everything was done
So you would come

I believed that I could do it. That it was possible.
But maybe... just maybe... it's time to convince myself not to hold on to false hope anymore.

You are perfect just the way you are.
I wish I truly believe that from the bottom of my heart.

2011-08-27T15:50:00.002+08:00

I think 'Highest Place' is a very comforting song. It prob has got to do with the fact that when I used to be lonely and sad in hall, i'll play it and listen to it cuz at that time I was practising it for sing and strum auditions. And it would somehow make me not feel so sad.... to know that God is always there for me. Even now, listening to the song brings comfort :)

If I go to the heavens or down below
You are right there waiting
If I rise on the wings of the dawn
You are there I will find you waiting

You are in the highest place
You are in the falling rain
You are in the mountain peaks
And the valleys speak wonders of Your Name

You are in the perfect sky
You're in every breath I breathe
You're in every moment life seems to pass me by
You're my Prince of Peace

The amount of drafts there surprises me...

2011-08-14T21:54:00.004+08:00

Haven't blogged for really really long... I have no idea why I always seem tired these days. I tend to sleep very early. Not exactly a bad thing except that I end up not doing homework when I sleep early :/ School has started for 1 week and it is not bad. TCM diagnostics is quite interesting while anatomy is a bit of a disappointment. I think reading the textbook would probably be more interesting. I have come to the conclusion that lecturers from the Beijing university are all not bad so I shall look forward to TCM lessons in future :)

Though actually, school isn't the main purpose of me blogging. I like this song :)

Turn your eyes upon Jesus
Look full in His wonderful face
And the things of earth will grow strangely dim
In the light of His glory and grace

2011-06-23T21:20:00.003+08:00

Back from Perawang! It was quite a good mission trip:) One of the best I've been to actually. Though I think that we could have actually done more. Cuz like going all the way there to do a little bit isn't very worth it. The last 2 days were like holidays... I think it's nicer to go to these kind of places rather than like Cheras.

But the concerts were awesome:) Never had such atmosphere in church before. Maybe except revelution a long time ago? But I don't really remember that already cuz it was so long ago, I was prob sec 1 or 2. Dance was great too! I enjoyed dancing 'Nothing is impossible'. And indeed, nothing is impossible with GOD :) The dancers there were really enthusiastic and so determined to learn the dance though a very short time was given. I think they learn faster than us even though they're not used to doing this kind of dances. And some of them are very cute haha. We normally count one to eight when learning the dance so they counted too... but in Bahasa Indonesia heh... satu dua tiga empat lima enam tujuh lapan:) I actually think that their tamborine dance is cool too. And it's like 'choreographed' on the spot. They have a few standard steps then one leader will give instructions as to which step to do during the song itself.

Hopefully we can bring the enthusiasm back to church and to youth. Though the audience really play quite a huge role in building up and maintaining the atmosphere. The people there really responded very well. But at least it showed us that with God's help, we can do it. It's not only those really pro bands that can hold these kind of concerts. STORM can do it too! And if we can do it there, why not in Singapore right... And also ultimately, we learnt that God is in control. And as long as we allow Him to work through us, nothing is impossible :)

And the pastor and family were very hospitable. Very difficult to find people like this in Singapore. Though somehow when I go overseas the people there are always very hospitable. Like that time in Thailand. They go all the way out and even the extra mile to make us feel comfortable and to accomodate not only to our needs but also our wants. Like we want to drink coke and there is coke the very next meal and every meal after that. They really go out on the spot to buy for us. And they give up all their rooms for us to sleep. Oh and the kids there are very cute haha :)

It was also great to spend time with the rest of the youths and get to know them better:) I am happy that I managed to buy my strings to do the friendship band! And influenced all the other girls to buy and do it too haha :) All in all it was a good trip:) Though we initially felt really unprepared. God is good:)

Puji Tuhan! :D

2011-06-14T20:56:00.002+08:00

Haven't blogged for really long... Holidays are almost half gone. so fast...

Today was a really fun day :) Went to play badminton. I haven't exercised in ages and my stamina is really bad :( Then went kbox. Haha the student card makes it really cheap as compared to normal. Enjoyed myself. But am very tired now haha.

Going to Perawang soon! Quite excited actually:) Though still feel a bit unprepared and not knowing what to expect. Shall trust that God has everything in control.

Bought some new clothes recently... Went shopping with Yan and mummy... now I must pack my clothes cupboard and take out those that I don't wear which I think is actually quite a lot.

And I made a friendship band! I think it's quite pretty haha. I shall find a day to go buy the string and also stuff for made with love to make cards :) Have to pack my cupboard first so that got space to put stuff :P

2011-05-24T22:06:00.002+08:00

Holidays are here! :)

I slacked the past few days away though. I really need to plan what to do with my holidays so that they will not fly past without me knowing what I did with them.

On a random sidenote, Grace is coming to Singapore!!! yay! :DDD I wish Megan could come too. And all the rest of them also haha. So greedy XP

Hmm let's see what I want to do during the holidays! Or I have to do... Pack the cupboard in my room, pack my shelf in the study room, pack clothes, organise my itunes, bake:) , exercise!, wash toilet, watch dramas:), work for daddy, probably organise all the photos into photo albums, maybe embark on some random project...

sounds eventful enough :) I will not waste my holidays not knowing what happened to them :)

2011-05-17T10:41:00.002+08:00

I don't want to say 'I'll try' anymore. It's just a way to give myself an option to fail. There's so many degrees to trying. By trying a bit, you can say you tried. Trying your best is also trying. It's like just giving an answer for the sake of answering. A very non-commital answer. That at the end you can say 'I tried already' when even though you may have tried, you didn't try your best which may have caused the whole situation to end up differently. Stop trying, just do it.

2011-05-10T21:00:00.002+08:00

600th post! haha.

Yay! More than half of my papers are over. Left with 108 and 107. I'm looking forward to after 108 haha. There's YA chalet! :) hmm but must be careful...

I feel like slacking already heh. But cannot! must start studying for 108. Or else later turn out like 109 :( 109 wasn't bad. but i think i think i didn't study enough. Thank God the paper was relatively easy and very repetitive from past year papers.

Cannot wait for exams to be over! There'll be a 10 week break i think :) Can do so many things! But then I'm sure it will pass very quickly, like all holidays. except for the 9 month holiday that i had last year haha. I want to go back to Creative O to see the kids! :)

2011-05-06T23:32:00.002+08:00

A really short post before I continue on my research paper which is due tmr morning before 9am.

Thank God for the easy tcm paper. I was really very worried abt it before the exam. But God is good and He answers prayers :) It's really a miracle that what I didn't study didn't come out... and that quite a few of the answers were found in the paper itself :)

Now, I need to continue with my research paper. I am tired but cannot don't do. I'll never do things so last minute again. Actually, I cannot really promise that. But I'm sure that I'll never take such a module again-.- I am glad for eyedrops :)

Okay! Jiayou! Cannot wait for 12th May for relative freedom and 19th May for absolute freedom! :)

2011-05-04T22:20:00.005+08:00

Oh well, I think it's in this kind of time where I need to sort out my feelings that my blog comes in useful. I don't like this kind of feeling. Where I'm like a bit sian, easily irritated by everything and just feel like going to sleep so that I don't have to think about anything. Sleep is really such an easy way out. Only if I didn't have exams to study for and the research paper to do. I really would go and sleep now. Actually I think I might. Then wake up early tmr to do stuff. Since trying to do things tonight won't work anyway cuz I'm not in the mood to do anything...

Went to look at my Ethan spam. It cheered me up :) I'm so glad that I did the Ethan spam last time so that I can always go back and look at it when I need cheering up :) I miss him(it's his birthday on mon!), and Kendrick too. I really miss the kids at the childcare. It's really not very possible to be upset when you're with them cuz they are so cute. And if they see that you're upset, they'll come and try to cheer you up. Kids are really smart in their own way. And also you can hug them and let them sit on your lap anytime you want. And you'll feel really 'wanted' cuz they will all want your attention, want you to hold their hands, want to play with you, want you to follow them everywhere they go, want to sit on your lap, want you to pat them to sleep and much more :)

(after bathing and coming out of the toilet)
Ethan(shouts across the K1 classes): Germaine! I'm done! Wait for me okay!
Me: -shows the okay sign-
Ethan: 3 mintues? okay! (runs all the way back)
So cute right? :)

Kendrick: I love you! :)

Joyleen: Germaine jiejie! :D (very happily and enthusiastically!)

Vicky: I big girl already. Don't need pat pat to sleep...

Say Siong: Thomas! (big smile lights up his face :D)

Kids are just so cute :)

2011-04-30T22:01:00.003+08:00

Here I am blogging instead of doing my research paper :/ I don't want to write research paper! Probably my own fault for leaving it to the last minute actually. But I am no writer. My languages are really not fantastic. Why can't it just be exam based haiz... I realised that at the end of the day, out of all the grading formats, I still prefer exams -.- I don't even like mid-terms though I agree that they make me study...

Oh man, making a science student write an arts research paper is torturous. At least if it was science, I would understand roughly, though I would be lazy to do it too. Wrong choice to take this elective in the first place :( I feel like just not doing. Don't care that I waste my S/U option. I'm actually quite scared that I'll get a U. Actually, he did say that I can do it in english... hmm... very tempting.

ahhh.... okay stop wasting time. jiayou myself! :)

2011-04-18T23:08:00.003+08:00

3 weeks to exams. so little time :/ resolutions to start studying early somehow nv work. it's always like i'll start studying earlier for exams next time and next time nv comes. maybe not using my laptop will help. I probably should really dao 107 until after everything else is over. There'll be about 4 days for that and it's prob enough for me to start studying from scratch provided I understand everything. so left 108, 109, 101 and the research paper. 101 is quite bad with a lot a lot of things to remember. 108 and 109 are okay i think. at least got attempt to read before for mid-terms that time. can we just not go to school? :/ I think i study better myself. And school makes u so tired that by the time u get back, u just feel like sleeping and not studying. Haiz...start planning and studying now!

2011-03-23T23:21:00.003+08:00

It's Wednesday! One day nearer to 27th March. I am happy over that fact :)

Tired. Had sing and strum prac today. Prac went well I guess. At least we finished up the 3 songs though not perfect. And hall anniversary dinner which was quite boring cuz I was tired and didn't do anything but eat and sit there and stone. Kay Wen even said that I don't even bother to fu yan him like I normally do lol.

I can rant here. Since they will never read this. I am so irritated with the last minute changing of song. Where got last minute come in and listen then give so many comments and make us change so many things one. Ok fine, I agree the comments were constructive. Couldn't u come in earlier. And everytime ask things nobody wants to say anything. But after everything is decided, all the objections will come. Seriously, if the key is too low, just say. We already changed it so what is making it a bit higher. It wasn't even a bit too low. Had to raise by 5 semitones in the end. And think the song too difficult, nobody said anything. He practised so hard for it already then now change song. Really? We have one last prac before the performance and u want to change song. I am tired of hearing complains after I make the decision cuz everybody said they're fine with anything. If you don't want to give any suggestions, just keep quiet and accept what is decided. Not like you weren't given a choice. Seriously. what's their problem.

Tmr is a really long day. Lessons from 8.30 to 5.30 with only 1 hour break. I really will need coffee tmr. And at night going to study also. I guess it's good to start early for 108 and not be so last minute like 109. But 109 was seriously easy, which is a good thing :) They're still asking abt the definition of diffusion and active transport at uni level when we learnt it in sec 1? lol.

I want to eat mango too!

2011-03-21T23:58:00.002+08:00

rawr. I really have no idea what to write for a research paper and how to do it in fact. Are we just supposed to find a lot of info on a topic and summarise them or must we add in our own point of view and stuff? If it is the former, isn't it something like just copying wholesale? Thinking about it, I rather take an exam cuz I can study for it. It's standard and just requires memorizing. I really cannot come up with a proposal right now when I understand less than half the things that are happening in class. I think I made a mistake taking this elective in the first place. How now brown cow?

On another hand, 2 very funny statements from yesterday...
''Presenting to you... the heap!''
''Why so smelly? It's you lah!'' This is funny only when it comes from kids haha.

我想说其实你很好
你自己却不知道
真心地对我好
不要求回报

2011-03-20T00:01:00.002+08:00

Today was an eventful day. Went for church wedding, cell outing then cell. Church wedding and cell were okay. Cell outing was enjoyable. Somehow at this point of time, I wouldn't say anything was fun. I am still worrying about next week though I have no idea why I'm not doing anything about it. It's prob the 'it's still recess week' mood. When Monday starts and I get back to school, everything will suddenly hit me and I will realised that I'm quite dead if I don't prepare for my presentation and do my proposal for Tuesday. So why am I still slacking? :(

Sometimes I think I don't really understand people. I cannot get what they're trying to do. For people that are not that close to me, I won't really bother. For people who are closer to me, I would like to know what happened. But I'll be scared that they don't want to say. So I'll normally ask a bit and if they don't reveal much, I'll stop asking. But then again, there are people who require a lot of probing before they will say anything.

Actually I don't really know if it's a good thing for me to ask and try to know and understand everything that happened. Cuz I think I'm too fortunate and I haven't gone through what they have gone through so I cannot really put myself in their shoes. At this point that I don't understand, I can assume that there's something I don't know about which can explain their actions. I'm afraid that after I know everything, I still cannot understand why they're doing what they're doing and I'll be like'why are they being ridiculous?'

And we just learnt in cell today to put the interests of others before our own, to see others as better as ourselves, to not be conceited. Actually, I just realised something. There's also this part that says something like to mix with people who are lower than you and not like discriminate them or something along that lines. If you see others as better than you, then there's no one lower for you to mix with. Oh well, just a random thought. May even be wrong if I remembered the bible verse wrongly or interpreted the meaning wrongly.

My attitude is getting more and more unacceptable. That's so not the way to treat people. Be nicer. Speak sweeter :)

2011-03-17T00:02:00.002+08:00

Gu wen exam is over! Like finally. But sadly, that's not the end of things :( I have HC440 presentation next tue and I haven't read the readings at all and I'm supposed to hand in a proposal for my research paper which I have no idea how to get about doing it. And next wed got BS109 quiz :( seriously, what recess week.

But nevertheless, I enjoyed myself today:) The movie was really cute. Gnomeo and Juliet. And some parts were super funny. And jamming was quite fun. It's fun to play the keyboard when everything else is on super loud volume and nobody can hear me play, including myself XP And walked in the rain today haha. Something which I haven't really done for quite some time. I normally avoid it cuz I don't want to get my things wet. Maybe should do this again next time:) Oh wait I rmb the last time I walked in the rain. It was for FOC canvassing and I fell sick immediately after that -.-

Not looking forward to most of the stuff on tmr but looking forward to Friday :) Tmr got tuition, sns prac and cheer training when all I feel like doing is staying at home to while my time away. And in between those need to wash clothes and study I guess. Oh but meeting Dina for tea :) Wanted to vaccum the floor but I predict that I won't have enough time and I'll be too lazy anyway :/

I am tired. Not tired as in I want to sleep. But I guess I'm tired of my activities and commitments. Simple Life? Not so easy somehow. 27th March. Hopefully when that day finally ends, I will not be disappointed. I will not let myself be :)

"I'm not illiterate! My father and mother were married! " Haha :)

2011-03-15T00:28:00.004+08:00

I decided to catch up on the Japan earthquake news today by reading the news reports on it for the past 3 days. And I was suddenly reminded of this prophecy by some pastor about an earthquake in Japan that was made a few years back. It's freaky to realise that the prophecy came true and it's even freakier to know that he prophesized other worse natural disasters that will be happening soon:/

Reading the prophesy really reminded me that the world is ending soon. And actually it was the words in the news reports that reminded me of the prophesy. Words like apocalyptical was so Revelations. I remember during that prayer meeting when Ps Andrew read out the prophesy to us, there was this part that mentioned about something that was going to happen in 2012 and my first thought was like 'phew, the world won't end before 2012'. Like seriously-.- But I somehow believe that the world is ending quite soon, like from what everybody is saying and stuff. Which is scary cuz there are so many things undone but at this point of time, we just don't see the urgency. It's so human nature to procrastinate and leave things to the last minute though this may be the most important thing ever.

But anyway, what an unapt time to read the news when I have my exam in 2 days time and I have not finished studying. Then again, exam period is the time that I read the newspapers and practise my piano the most -.- Cuz these are the 2 activites that I can do without feeling that guilty that I'm not studying. And with my awesome skills of procrastination, I guess I can pray for a miracle, esp for this one.

And yes. The previous paragraph totally depicts(seems like a wrong word to use but I cannot think of a better one at this moment) the sentence before that in ways more than one. What an irony.

2011-03-12T00:42:00.002+08:00

Yay! A new post. Like finally :) just so that someone will not keep re-reading the previous post which was right at the top and keep analysing it XP haha no lah. just joking.

It's recess week! But then with a 6AU exam on wednesday, what recess week? :( But that gives me an excuse to skip all my hall stuff from sunday to wed. It's a very valid reason cuz I haven't been studying much cuz of all the hall stuff I have:/ Must study!

Oh man. one term is over already. How time flies. But somehow, I am really looking forward to the long holidays in June. Seems quite exciting. But there's still one term of school and all the final exams to go through first. Not that I dislike school actually. And now I'm looking forward to after 27th March. It'll probably be the first time that I'm really free from hall stuff(hopefully). And I better not make myself busy with other stuff cuz I'll need to study.

Now the simple life thing is about time. and like how we need to focus on the more important ones so the less important ones should be put aside. But it's really difficult to give up stuff i think. It's probably less of I really want to do it but more of I'll disappoint/ pangseh ppl if I give them up. Like the 3 performances for cult night. I don't think it's really that important but how to say that I don't want to perform. And so here I am comforting myself with the fact that everything will be over after 27th March.

But the most important thing now is still 16th March which will be over in the blink of an eye so I better make full use of that blink to study so that I will not regret it sometime in june or july i think.

2011-02-16T22:36:00.002+08:00

haha i bet nobody comes here anymore cuz it's so not updated. I'm going to do something for I think it's the 3rd time :)

1. Hello! I really miss you a lot. I miss talking to you and all the times we'll have mini debates over stuff and our teasing each other just for the fun of it. Haven't talked to you for too long. Now I don't even dare to like call you cuz I'm scared you'll be busy:/ I just want to let you know that I really appreciate everything that you've done for me and that you've been an awesome friend. And up till now, the thing that I said in my letter still stands:) I just wish that you were nearer.

2. Hey! I miss you too! :) I miss your cuteness and all the times we studied together. Everytime I walk past the Macs at city hall, I'll be reminded of you studying at macs though we nv went to that macs to study together haha. I miss your thoughtfulness and niceness. I seriously cannot think of any not nice thing that you did haha. I really want to see you soon and I can only hope that things have not changed too much.

3. Hello! You're the third person that I miss. I miss your hugs and the times you'll just spend time listening to me talk/ whine/ complain. You never fail to give me advice, make me feel better and often make me laugh too :) I really appreciate it. I hope you'll come back soon and we can meet up :)

2010-12-29T23:25:00.002+08:00

I am Nike branded haha thanks to either Valentina or Shu Si. I would have taken a picture. But it's fading already:)

I finally went back to creative O. The pg shifted to the nursery side. And they remembered me :D and they're still as cute. Ethan was so sweet, he ran up to greet me when I arrived but hardly talked to him cuz he eat too slow haha. Kendrick was cute as usual. He still came to look for me when he wanted more food :) Michelle refused to talk to me though. Haha so typical of her. Shayne Rae warmed up after a while and she was still small and cute :) Kate is as sweet as ever. Leroy and Hayley played with me the most. They became stronger and more rough tsk. Oh Shu Yong became more eloquent. The rest didn't make that much of an impression. Think cuz I went during lunch time and they were all busy eating.

Yay! Oreo cheesecake was a success :) So were the cookies and mushroom soup :) Pizza was a bit fail cuz I forgot abt the olive oil :/ But it was fun baking and cooking :)

Happy Birthday Samuel and Jabril! :D

2010-12-26T20:56:00.002+08:00

Church today was A-W-E-S-O-M-E :) God was really there. This is the second time somebody reminded me of one thing and the first time somebody said something like that about me. Oh well, it was just awesome being in the presence of God :)

I just got 2 more arrows today. Hmm is it really what God wants me to do? Can I cope?

I just realised that 'highest place' is from a psalm! Psalms 139 if i didn't remember wrongly :)

Went to ama house today and ate a lot o.o keep eating and eating XP haha the food was nice. I like the soup a lot! :)

2010-12-25T19:37:00.004+08:00

Merry Christmas!!!! God loves you :)

yes, I finally decided to update my blog :)

It's becuase I'm quite bored right now haha. It's weird that normally there's so many things to do but like on Christmas day, I'm suddenly so free. I guess on normal days things to do means going out. Now that I'm home, I don't know what to do. Feel like I should do something productive and not play games, watch tv, read books. Sure, there's s certain level of enjoyment in doing those things but somehow satisfaction isn't there. It feels like just something to do to past time and not actually productive. Right now, I'm also not sure what I consider productive.

During exams period, the only thing to do was study and I wished that exams would be over so that I can do other more fun stuff. Ironic that now I don't know what to do. But somehow during exam period, there's a goal and I actually feel productive when I'm studying cuz I know what I'm working towards and that whenever I study, I'm doing something which will bring me nearer to my goal. So I guess it's good to have short term goals afterall :) And also, since doing things of enjoyment are relatively prohibited during exam period, they seem more fun and more enjoyable. Now when I can do anything I want, they don't seem that fun anymore.

Hmm next semester will be a really busy one. Firstly, my timetable is quite horrible. There are a lot of lessons. And with TCM modules coming up, I have to study consistently or I willr eally die for exams. And it's 6 AUs. Screw up means gg. Secondly, there's cheerleading training for the whole of January. Fortunately for most of the part, it's during holidays. But once school starts, it'll be hectic. Trainings are on Sun, Mon, Tue, Thur and Fri nights. That's during the ihg period too. Don't even know if I want to join anything anymore. After ho, there'll be valentine's day, so dnd will be busy. And I'll be having midterms so will be mugging very hard. And after that, there'll be the cultural concert in which sing and strum and choir will be involved and there's no way I can not be involved since I'm a group leader. And there'll be random events popping up in hall during the semester I think so will have to go and help out. Haha that's the result of joining too much stuff. I'll be relieved when everything is over. Which will include foc and dnd which by the time will be next year august:/ Maybe I really shouldn't stay in hall next year. Or if I ever get in, I'm not going to be that crazy and join so many things XP

Oh and I was still thinking of going to do cip in some children's home or something. Think that's feasible with all the above mention things going on? And I think I need to put more focus on ministry also. Maybe the cruise will really be a good time to do some thinking and planning. Or maybe I can just do it now too haha. I think I work better when I have everything written down and planned out, especially if it's important. Minor things can decide on the spot cuz wrong decisions won't result in dire consequences and they prob won't require much time and effort to plan anything so that it will happen :)

Ok, so let's list down what I have to do.
1) plan for cell next year
2) look out for vwo and see how
3) look through youth calendar for next year and see if there's anything I need to do (oh no, I think my youth calendar is in hall :/)
4) set goals for next year? (haha this remains to be decided)
5) decide what to do during the holidays

That's all I can think of now. And I shall go and do these things now and not procrastinate anymore :)

2010-09-03T01:17:00.004+08:00

Heard quite a cool quote today. "Everyday is the first day of the rest of your life." I guess that's where the saying that you can start everyday anew came from?

yup. start of uni life. can tell it's going to be really different. hope that I have nice coursemates and classmates. hall life is up till now quite fun. it'll get even better when i get to know my neighbours better i think :) i think in uni, your friends are really important. somehow more important than in jc or secondary school in the sense that you'll need to rely more on each other and stuff.

quite excited to start school after 9 months of holidays. Holidays have been quite awesome, being to Thailand and Taiwan and stuff. But after all the working, though I really enjoyed it, school is still the best. It's the place where you know that you're still a student so there are ppl like teachers who you can rely on, the place where you can pursue all that you want, your passions and interests, the place where you can make a fool of yourself doing stupid things without very serious consequences. The point is, in society, you are there all alone, responsible for every wrong or right thing you do without anyone to clear up behind you. yup, so all students please appreciate school A LOT :)

anyway, i think my hall is quite awesome :) there are friendly neighbours who actually htht to like super late. I will get to know them better :) there are nice seniors who are there to answer all our questions and just to hang out with us. and the room is quite homely now i think, after shifitng all my stuff here :)

hmm i'm thinking whether to join planning committees or to join stuff that don't require so much brainwork and paperwork such as performing arts. And I also don't know if I want to attempt to run for anything. Oh and all the FOCs next year. Really want to take part but also want to go for mission trip and Taiwan for summer camp. Bleh, I want too many things.

I miss Jessica, Ben, Kyle, Kevin, Laura, Francis, Bobby and all the other friends made in Taiwan.
I miss all the cute and innocent children in Creative O.
I miss Ah Jie and Xiao Guang.
I miss hanging out with Boogie Peckers and I really wish I can join them tmr :/

Thank God for all the blessings He has given me:) Really uncountable.

Oh ya, Charlotte and I were discussing the other day about how people who don't believe in God actually survive, especially free thinkers and atheists. It's ok when we're happy and everything is going fine and smoothly. But there are times where life seems so hopeless, we seem so useless and nothing seems to be going right. For us, we'll pray and ask God for help. And of course, it really helps cuz God answers prayers :) Even if He does not change the situation immediately, He will give us hope in the darkness and we know that there is God who is there for us, who will handle everything, who will not let things become more than what we can bear, who will walk with us and carry us through all the darkness. With God, everything is brighter.

So we were thinking that if we didn't believe in God, these days of darkness would be really horrible. Imagine the situation where everything seems so hard to bear and you have to do it alone. You feel that you are so helpless and useless but you know that there is no one to help you, that you only can rely on yourself. Things may become even worse and you may not be able to handle it but there's nothing you can do about it anyway. Suck thumb and carry on:/

Okay, time to sleep! Lecture tmr morning. First lecture! :)

2010-07-24T23:16:00.002+08:00

This year has been filled with a lot of goodbyes. Goodbye to the kids in cgm, goodbye to the kids in creative O, goodbye to the students in Thailand and today, the saddest one, goodbye to all my friends in Xinzhu. No idea why I actually cried the most today compared to the other goodbyes.

Anyway, Taiwan trip has been really awesome. The first one being that almost all the American teachers here are Christians. So I unknowingly ended up in a camp with a lot of fellow brothers and sisters in Christ and we also sang Christian songs and told stories from the Bible(not in a really obvious way though). And I really learnt a lot. Their enthusiasm, initiative and 'highness' are contagious:) I ended up volunteering for many things like night duties, playing sports, learning new skills and even acting for stories. I don't think I would have done so many of that if I had been in a camp in Singapore and surrounded with a lot of people I know. I would never volunteer myself to be on stage, acting as a cat or some other character impromptu lol. I somehow learnt to be more confident? And not to bother so much about what others think. Not sure if it is really it though cuz firstly the people here don't know how I normally am and secondly all of them are acting 'crazy' and high so it seems normal when everyone is doing it :) Hopefully it will last even after I return to Singapore.

I think that the environment that we grow up in plays a really important part in moulding our character. Singaporeans are taught to be efficient and to do our best in everything we do. We have high standards and also complete things very quickly. Americans(at least those I met here) are very encouraging and they always give others a chance to do something to make them feel included or to let them show their strengths and they are very friendly. And I was very surprised to find out that Americans have a lot of siblings. Almost all of them have like 6 brothers and sisters o.o I thought that having 31 cousins was a lot. Jarita, Cami and Bobby have 75 o.O

And also, this is the first time that someone actually said that Singlish is cool and that our Singapore accent is awesome:) Singapore governement has always given Singaporeans the impression that Singlish is not good. It is not formal enough, it sounds coarse, it is looked down upon as something that people speak when they cannot speak proper english etc. But over here, the Americans were like 'Your accent is so cool! I want to learn Singlish'.

Ok, I shall stop here for now. I miss going to 7-11 with them every night sometimes for absolutely no other reason except that we wanted to get out of the school...

2010-06-30T23:32:00.003+08:00

Back from Thailand. It was an awesome 18 days. Especially the days in the school cuz the students were just so sweet and nice. I think I should really do some like official reflections before I forget my feelings and whatever little reflections I have all go away. Then this trip would have been wasted.

Before going there, I never really knew what I was going there for. I knew that we were going there to teach in the school and do CIP, whatever do CIP referred to. It was only at the last day of our teaching when we were supposed to do reflections that I actually thought of it. What were we there for? I guess the official answer will be to teach and to experience. Ok, so to teach. I'm certain that their teachers can teach as well, or else how else will they survive for the rest of the 355 days that we're not there. To experience would be to benefit us more than them. Being unable to come up with an answer, I decided to flip the handbook given by the school. It said that we were there to encourage the students and sort of 'brighten up' their lives by having us to teach instead of just having their usual lessons. At that time, I was really doubtful as to how much we can actually encourage them and brighten up their lives and I was already a little upset to finally realise at the last day that we may not have done much to help them but instead probably gave them more trouble cuz they had to host us.

However, on the last day in the school, when I read what my students wrote for me, I realised the importance of us simply being there. It wasn't what we taught that mattered. We could have spent the lesson playing games for all they care. It was the fact that we were there, the fact that we cared, the fact that we gave up 18 days of our time to be there with them and to spend time with them that mattered. Indeed, we go there to experience a different life from what we normally do and that is important cuz we learn to treasure what we have. But I never taught of it as during the 18 days that we're there, they experience a different life too. They get to interact with people who come from places where they have never been. They get to know about what is outside their world, about a different life that people in some other place live. Through all these, we give them a goal, something to look forward to. Living in their small village, if they know nothing abt the outside world, they would probably expect their lives to be very normal, which may be to study till sec 3 then go to an even smaller village school to teach. But after we tell them about our lives, about how I'm going to university soon, about how Singapore is, they have goals. They too want to go to university, they want to experience a different country for themselves and it is these goals that will encourage them to work hard, to study harder.

In the 18 days spent there, I spend more time talking to them than actually teaching them. Despite having a little regret that I didn't teach them enough, I don't really wish that I spent less time talking to them. Because a few years down the road, they will not remember a teacher who taught them english for a few days. But rather, they will remember a teacher who spent time talking to them, listening to them, caring for them, becoming their friend, a teacher who gave them a goal to work towards. And I sincerely believe that all of them have great potential, that if they had our environment to grow up in, they may probably be better than us. But I believe that it is because they grew up in that environment that they are so sweet and awesome.

These 18 days have been really unforgetable. Spending every night talking to them, seeing them trying their best to learn whatever we're trying to teach them, meeting them in school and hearing their cheerful 'lao shi hao!', waving to them from the first floor when they all line up in a row outside their classroom on the second floor just to wave to us, talking to them during breaks cuz they rather spend their break talking to us than going to buy food. The last night was specially memorable. Aside from them, everyone else seemed to become invisible. From the stage, I could only see them giving us all their attention to watch our performance and their widest smiles when our eyes met. They were the reason I was up there, smiling back at them.

I know that they have made an impact in my life, and similarly, I have made an impact in their lives.

2010-06-11T22:21:00.002+08:00

Leaving for Thailand tmr! Feeling a little scared cuz it's the first time yan and I are going overseas alone. Oh well, we will meet the Taiwan ppl at bangkok airport but still, after everything that happened in Bangkok, I feel a little scared. And also, I've nv been to Thailand before, and I can't speak Thai at all... Other than not really knowing what to expect, I really hope to learn a lot during the trip! I aim to be more confident in doing and handling things. And I think interacting with both the Taiwan and Thai ppl will be fun :)

Pray for me! I'll be back on 29th June :)

2010-06-08T21:45:00.002+08:00

Haven't blogged for quite some time. A lot of things have happened since then. And a lot of thoughts that are maybe already forgotten cuz they weren't noted down.

Mummy is back! :D We went to the airport to surprise her. And we nearly got the surprise by suddenly not being able to find her -.- But everything went well in the end:)

I catalogued all the dvds we have at home. There's abt 50 plus series of hong kong drama. Pro right? :D I think I've watched less than half of them.

Leaving for Thailand this sat. Totally not prepared yet.

2010-05-22T21:57:00.002+08:00

hmm eventful week I would say.

Had appassionata on Mon! Really enjoyable to play in a band again and see all my band batchmates, seniors and juniors :D But I think the alumni band lacked practise XP oh well, i liked the gimmicks as usual :)

Then from tue to thur worked for an average of 12 hours a day:/ cuz full day at childcare and give tuition and help daddy do stuff. Fri the children had a picnic! So fun haha. I think they wish they had picnics everyday. Get to eat a lot, play with bubbles and draw in the open space:)

yesterday and today went for saturate conference! Oh anyway, yan and daddy are overseas already. left mummy and i at home:(

Saturate. I think the plenary sessions were really awesome :) so sad i missed 2 on the first day :(And 3 out of the 4 sessions/worshops I attended mentioned confidence. I think that was the thing that related to me most. Don't apologise for what God has called you to do. Be confident in what God has given you:) And the Holy Spirit one by Ps Kong Hee was rather impactful. Oh and I like this analogy. God must be in the center of your life before the circumference of your life can be perfect just like how a drawing a perfect circle requires a center for the compass.

And we were somehow talking about the youth in our church too. Like during lunch or something. And everytime the youth is mentioned, I have this feeling of 'wu neng wei li'. there's a mixture of feelings. a feeling of lost like what am i doing, a feeling of regret for not having done more in the past year, a feeling of helplessness looking at the magnitude of what we're facing, a feeling of wanting to do more but not really knowing what and how to go about doing it. And anyway, all of us agreed that it's the attitude.

2010-05-10T21:33:00.002+08:00

Ok, yesterday there was an illustration of how God is Jehovah Rapha (The Lord who heals). Today, there will be one on Jehovah Jireh (The Lord who provides). God is really good :D

So today, the children at the childcare were eating bananas before lunch. And normally when they eat fruits that require cutting such as apple, watermelon and honey dew, the teachers and us get to eat as well cuz there'll be extra. But when they eat bananas, each of them have exactly one so the adults don't get to eat. So today, didn't get to eat fruit at the childcare. However, went to Christa's house to give tuition and aunty Jennifer offered me a banana after that! And it looks exactly the same as the kind they eat at Creative O :) As in like at home I eat the long ones, but the ones at Creative O and Christa's house were both the smaller ones. See, the Lord provides :D

Haiz... I just decided on tuition dates without checking my calendar. Now need to change 2 out of 4 -.-

Oh ya, today Vicki celebrated her birthday at Creative. I think her family is very rich. She had a 3kg cake with a princess picture on top. Want to know how big that means? 30 of us ate abt 1/3 of the cake. So it could probably feed 100 ppl o.o And her candles were special candles. There were 3 candles, one with a red flame, one with a blue flame and one with a green flame. And she also had a helium balloon reading '3' that was bigger than her... I was like woah...

Worked for 8 hours today and I'm really tired. yawns.

Saturate sounds exciting :D Looking forward to it!

2010-05-09T22:22:00.003+08:00

It's Sunday today! :) And it's mother's day! Happy mother's day mummy :)

Phebe is leaving today:( We'll really miss her. And I realised I missed her last session yesterday:( rah. And ya, we were stuck in audi 2 yesterday. Cuz there were only 2 of us and we wanted to go buy stuff together so that got second opinion. But we couldn't leave the audi unlocked and we couldn't lock it either cuz we won't be able to get in after that. So we stoned there for quite long trying to decide what to do. Fortunately, some ppl came for prayer meeting after that so we could both go out :D

Went to ama's house today. Jun Hao is very cute. He's 6. So today someone told him 'it's mother's day today, go give ama a kiss' And he replied 'no. it's mother's day, not grandmother's day' haha. And yan and I made a big decorated corrugated board for ama. We did it in abt 1.5 hours I think. And chinese words are seriously difficult to cut from postcards. Didn't help that I had to draw it mirror-imaged. Yan took 1.5hr to paste and decorate the board while I took 1.5hrs to cut out 2 chinese words -.-

Anyway, my God heals. About 2 weeks plus ago, my leg was a bit pain. Then it got worse after 2 weeks, like it hurts even when I'm walking. Not like very pain until cannot walk kind but it really hurts when I run. I was wondering if there was something wrong cuz it lasted for 2 weeks. So I decided to pray and ask God to heal it and 2 days later, the pain was gone! Like miraculously, it's now like back to normal. God is awesome :)

2010-05-08T23:13:00.002+08:00

Thank God the ntu interview went fine. I would even go to the extent to say it's fun lol. It's a very high compliment seeing how I don't like interviews at all. But somehow, the interviews seem to get less and less serious haha. The interviewers were very friendly and funny. And the questions they ask are seriously -.- Like totally no link to the scholarship haha.

It's Ethan's birthday tmr! He celebrated it in school yesterday though. His parents came and bought him a Mcqueen cake. I didn't even know what Mcqueen was before I saw the cake lol. Different generation already. Kids are actually really smart. They know who they can bully and who they can't. Ethan's mum commented that he seems so capable in school, like can eat himself and everything. That's what every kid does in school. Then she said at home he seems so helpless, need ppl to feed him. Children know that they can bully their parents at home, but in school, teachers won't let them have their way.

Went for alumni prac today. There were 4 trumpeters :) double the last prac but the actual amount should be double today's number though haha. I think I improved a bit:D Last prac cannot really hit the high notes but today a bit better. hooray! I should improve a lot by concert day. Anyway, anyone who has not been to any nanyang band concert before should really attend at least once. It's different from normal band concerts:)

And went church after prac to do the notice board. Took super long to decide on how to decorate it. Glad that we finally finished it. I felt so unequipped without my art stuff and I didn't even bring my pencil box which contains a lot of different coloured pens and markers:( I hope the post-its don't drop. may have to use blue tack if it really does.

2010-05-06T17:19:00.002+08:00

Help. I totally don't know how to prepare for the interview tmr. At least the questions for the previous one could be predicted. This one? It'll probably require me to be very ego. Like state my strengths and weaknesses, why should they give me the scholarship, how can i contribute to the school that kind? I'm horrible at those. bleh :/ I didn't bother abt it the whole week cuz I figured worrying abt it for one week wasn't going to help. And I can't find anything online. Like I don't even know what I submitted for that application. Later they ask me why I write this and I'll be like 'huh? I said that?'-.-

I guess I can only pray that I'll be super confident tmr and be very ego about myself. And that they don't ask too difficult questions and that they'll be nice. Ok, stop worrying!

On a side note, Joyleen is super cute :)

2010-05-03T22:34:00.003+08:00

I wanna thank God for answering my prayer!

This morning I was praying that ntu will reply me email to tell me that they received the email I sent them. cuz the deadline was yesterday and if they didn't receive I prob have to call them and I don't really like calling. So i was praying that they'll see me email and reply and they really did! It was the only email worth checking in my inbox today :) (as in the rest were like job advertisements and lots more rubbish)

And I realised that it's a lot easier to guard your mouth when you're with kids. Cuz firstly, when you use coarse words, they won't understand you so you tend to speak simply and slowly to them without using too many long and cheem words and somehow will naturally not say things that you're not supposed to say. And secondly, they're too cute and innocent that you won't want to pollute them with wrong languages. yup! So I realised that today I didn't say any word that I'm not supposed to say :D (at least out loud XP)

Yay! I can go for alumni prac tmr! :) I shall go early and kope a nice trumpet :P

2010-05-02T22:39:00.002+08:00

Today there wasn't cell cuz my whole cell went home to study. (i'm going to type out my rants for a reason which you will see later. it's not for the sake of ranting)

I was actually rather upset at first. I mean they could have at least let me know that they're not coming for cell. Though that won't make up for the time spent preparing for cell, it would make me feel a bit more respected and a bit more noticed. What they did just totally showed me that they don't really bother. They expect the cell leader to be ready for every cell session and be there waiting for them while they just choose as and when they want to appear. And if they choose not to come, just let the cell leader sit there and wait, wondering what happened.

And I was wondering why God let that happen. It's rather disappointing and demoralising. Well, I got my answer. It's God's way of 'teaching me a lesson', letting me know how He feels when I don't do my quiet time. God is prepared every single day, and looking forward to meeting us during our devotion. But when I don't do it, He will be disappointed and sad, and I dunno, maybe a bit abandoned(at least that was how I felt). He'll be there waiting the whole day, hoping that I will do my devotion for that day. God will definitely be more upset than I was today, because He definitely loves me more than I can ever love my cell or any other person or even myself for that matter.

But the thing is, our God is a gracious God. No matter how many times I've failed Him, He still loves me and forgives me. So who am I to be angry with my cell. This is only their first time. I must love them. But I do understand that loving them does not mean letting them do whatever they want. There was a sermon that said that if you must love a person enough before you will point out their mistakes to them. If you just let them do whatever they want, when clearly knowing that what they're doing isn't right, you probably don't love them enough. I will try my best to love them in the way that Jesus loves. I trust that God will give me strength. Nothing is impossible! :)

2010-04-28T22:12:00.003+08:00

I've decided to do an Ethan spam :) Haha he's my favourite boy in pg. and he's really cute(when he's not crying XP) and very smart :D And today he came to school happy and specially came to look for me to say hi! (his favourite colour is green so the words are in green!)

This is my favourite picture of him! he looks so guai and handsome right? :) haha i combed his hair then tell him to sit there let me take picture XD

End of Ethan spam :)

And this is Kendrick:) He's prob my second favourite boy in pg! And this is my favourite picture of him as of now cuz I haven't taken one with him smiling nicely and looking at the camera :( But he was being cheeky that day this picture was taken. He's supposed to be moving around and not lying there looking at his friends do haha. But he still looks very cute all the same :)

2010-04-27T21:56:00.002+08:00

Interview today went fine but I don't think I'll get it cuz my course isn't directly related.

Hmm... not very sure what is right. But since you're in that position, you should carry out all your responsibilities right? If you're too busy, take leave to prioritise your time. Wouldn't it be better than having everyone not happy. It's not abt the few minutes that will be spent or that I refuse to do it cuz I'm mean or something. I know that you are busy. But the thing is, if I just do all these things myself, why would I need you? I'm sure you want to feel included, you want to feel needed. But if you keep not wanting to do what you're supposed to do, how will you feel needed. Be faithful in small and God will give you big things. It's often not when things are easy that commitment is seen.

2010-04-26T22:59:00.002+08:00

Haven't had such a slack day for so long :)

I finished my 5 books of xiao ao jiang hu comic! makes me want to watch the dvd. but si gu can't find it :(

yesterday was ps andrew, yi ang, yi xiang, zhou jing and qing ling's birthday! so many o.o

i realised what i learnt in childcare really applies in real life. Today, mummy's student vomited in my house and i had to clean it up-.- so typical job in pg haha.

2010-04-21T22:21:00.003+08:00

gosh it's already 10.20pm. and i just finished part of the things that i'm supposed to do. Finally sent in the MOE thing. like one thing off my mind :)

I haven't practised a lot of piano! 2 songs for uncle david, one song for sam soh and i think jeremy didn't give homework this week. i just don't appear for storm prac can already XP ok, for uncle david's homework, i'm doing 'we cry out' and another song I haven't decided :/ but i can't print out the 'we cry out' score! I'm like trying to play and memorise 7 pages of scores just for one song :(

hmm what else is there to do. the birthday thing, put the seminar pictures into a cd. and tmr need to send newspaper again.

anyway, thank you to everyone for the birthday wishes. I finally replied every single person on facebook haha.

2010-04-12T20:50:00.002+08:00

gosh i think i'm making too many appointments this week. oh well, the ns ppl having break mah. I really want to meet them :) and anyway i didn't really go out during term 1. Accumulate all for now haha.

Finished scanning another book today :) shall try to finish another one tmr. then won't feel so bad for going out XP

2010-04-08T14:30:00.003+08:00

Pictures of Taiwan! I keep forgetting to put them up. Actually it's only of one activity. But it's exciting enough:)

Before we started...

Yay! The water is actually quite cold though it doesn't look like it. Mmm abt 15 degrees?

Daddy!

Haha this cave like thingy

Our 2 instructors:) They're very nice and funny heh

The very high place we had to jump from! It doesn't look very high from here but from the top, it's really high :/

Haha daddy having a massage :D

Some random pose...

Catching prawns for lunch! The water is super clean and clear. And the view from underwater is really nice. Never imagined that there would be so many fish in there.

Our lunch! Looks nice right? :D

Another jump!

Daddy and I jumping together :)

Very nice background!

At the end...

We all woke up with muscle aches everywhere the next day haha. But it was fun! :)

2010-04-07T21:42:00.002+08:00

I went back to hwachong today! delivered my cheesecake and went for band prac. yay! I still can play. not very well though. it was fun to play with juniors once again. they are playing nice songs for concert! Like the ponyo song! I think. haha so cute. :)

oh met ren lao shi today. he said he has been using me to like encourage his students. cuz even I can get A for CLL, so it proves that it's not impossible:) It was seriously a miracle. And I realised that I had chinese remedial for almost the entire 2 years I was in jc -.-

ok don't know whether to iron clothes or to scan the books tmr. the other one will be on fri. I'm more tempted to iron clothes cuz I can watch tv while ironing haha.

oh i finally watched avatar on the plane back from taiwan and I finally know what's with the hair and the body movement thing lol. quite lag I know cuz they've been doing it since last year dec. oh well, I was really happy when I found out that there was avatar on the return trip :D there was also the percy jackson thing but I didn't have time to finish watching 2 movies :(

2010-04-05T23:14:00.002+08:00

The kids remember me :) Ethan super cute. He was like 'Hey! How come you're back?!' haha.

got transferred to nursery class. some of them quite cute also. but i think pg still cuter at the moment :)

slacked today away :/ tmr will be spent baking though XD

I officially rejected the medicine interview. Hope I don't regret it next time:/

I owe you a treat.

Time to sleep! Goodnight! :D

2010-04-03T22:48:00.001+08:00

it's quite funny how something so small can like affect my feelings by quite a lot. and it isn't a very good thing.

i don't think today was a very good day. for the single reason that i didn't prepare for cell. i'm wasting time and an opportunity to share God's word and a chance for them to learn. i really need time to sit down and think without distractions and stuff. Life nowadays has too many things to distract us, to take away our focus on what's really important.

going back to work tmr. hope that the children can remember me and that it'll be a good distraction.

2010-03-20T22:53:00.002+08:00

boo! i spent 3 hrs ironing clothes this morning. Didn't seem that long though since I was watching show on my laptop while ironing. but i managed to watch close to 4 episodes which equals to abt 3 hrs.

I shall settle all my uni stuff on mon. cuz i'm lazy and too tired to do now and tmr prob no time except at night. I realised it's a waste of time to do uni applications halfway. even if it's the continue tmr type. Cuz you'll forget where u stopped and have to check the application status for every uni and scholarship all over again.

yay! going taiwan to meet all my friends :D

2010-03-16T22:29:00.002+08:00

ok so my cell doesn't want to come for youth outing. should i just accept it or should i persuade them. if i manage to persuade them and they end up not being happy there, is there even a point? but if they don't go, they'll not get to interact with the youth and it'll be even more difficult to fit in no? it's a vicious cycle. it takes someone to help u fit in yes. but personal effort must be put in too right? or maybe it's that we've/ i've disappointed them too many times that they lost hope totally? why am i trying so hard to persuade them to go anyway. what would Jesus do?

2010-03-12T22:06:00.002+08:00

Today, I realised that it only costs me $0.19 to take bus to cgm every afternoon while i've been walking under the hot sun for the whole term. Ironic that today is the last day already-. -

Today, I also realised that I WILL meet people I know in uni. Like in the same faculty or even course. I somehow had the illusion that university will be a new start where I meet new people and will not get to see my friends again. I was sort of looking forward to that. Not that I don't like my friends or don't want to see them but I'm really looking forward to starting afresh in a new environment where nobody knows each other, where there are no cliques or images and relationships to keep up. I wish to start my school year with no commitments because relationships, even friendships require commitments, time and effort.

And the last thing I realised today is that university and scholarships applications require a lot of time :/

Theory exam is TOMORROW o.o

2010-03-11T22:31:00.002+08:00

yawns. I'm very tired. I have no idea why though lol. Like don't get to sleep early these days. I think busy with like applications for universities and scholarships etc. And there's theory exam this sat. Rah, no school still so busy. I woke up at 6 this morning to do work can-.-

I'm going to sleep soon. shall do applications tmr night and study for theory on sat morning. I really hope I pass. Then don't have to drag it for a longer period of time. I had a 2 hour theory lesson today:/

and my table is in a big mess. great. don't like packing and don't think I'll have time to pack either.

2010-03-01T22:23:00.002+08:00

Went for outing today! Went to some organic vegetable farm with the kids. They are so cute :)

A level results coming out this Friday o.o

I have no doubts that what you said last week is no longer valid.

I'm supposed to find out abt uni stuff today and I didn't at all! :/

If we ever look back and reflect, some of the things we say and do are really so ironic.

2010-02-28T21:43:00.002+08:00

I'm actually really tired but well decided to blog. and not going to narrate. have a few things to say actually but don't know if i should say it here. don't think it's going to change anything and it may just make some ppl upset. and since i don't like it, i shouldn't do it right? but i guess i'm just too cowardly to talk face to face or it's just that i normally get swayed by the people's opinions when i heard their side of the story. like when 2 ppl come and tell me 2 different sides of a story, i don't think i've really taken a stand unless it's very obvious that one party is wrong.

i'm not angry or upset at you. it's just that what you say make me feel lousy about myself. Not your fault, just that I don't think I take it well. Like I already know that I don't do it well, I don't need you to remind me. And when you do, I put myself down even more. Like how lousy I am and stuff. But the fact is I know I shouldn't be doing that. Cuz like God made us, so when I put myself down, I'm telling God that He didn't do a good job. And I fully know that I shouldn't be doing it. So I was upset for doing something that I know I shouldn't be doing. But I'm fine already yup. I think only one person who reads this will understand this haha.

It's all about God and not about us. God has this specific way of living that He wants us to live- a life without sin, a life that is pleasing to Him. But very often, we don't know the exact standards or we simply forget. That's why God put people esp elders around us. To teach us when we don't know and to remind us when we forget. But I know it's not very easy to obey. Sometimes, I just refuse to do something simply because I'm told to do it. Like I just want to rebel. I know I shouldn't do it. But I really don't want to simply do what people tell me to do. And I found the best solution is to just do the right thing. Do what you're supposed to do before anyone needs to tell or remind you. Don't know the standards? Read the Bible.

2010-02-18T22:03:00.002+08:00

Today was a rather busy day. Had work from 8 to 5.30 as usual. then piano lesson from 6.15 to 7.15. tuition from 7.30 to 9pm. I was afraid I'll be late for tuition and have no time for dinner before piano. But thanks to my wonderful daddy, he came to fetch me from cgm and I reached limbang at 5.35 and andrea's house at 7.20pm haha. Not only was I not late, I was still early :) Thanks loads daddy! :D

hmm still very little students in school. they extend their own cny holidays haha.

ok, i'm tired. shall go sleep soon :)

2010-02-16T21:29:00.003+08:00

cny holidays are going to be over:( back to work and normal life tmr. busy busy busy. my schedule is officially filled for february. anyone want to make appointment for march? XP just joking. it's week 7 already. looking forward to march holidays haha. lol, like i'm back in school like that. but first, there's going to be alumni prac next tuesday! yay! I miss my trumpet. hopefully still can play :D

went chalet yesterday. we played mahjong through the night. yan, weiling, qing lin and i. play until like 5 plus then we were hungry so we cooked noodles to eat. and the noodles made us tired so we went to sleep at 6 plus. it was time for gu po to wake up! we haven't sleep they wake up already haha. the children are really cute:) i only played with aden, yan ling and annie actually. oh annie is really pro. she's 2 and a half and she can use chopsticks to eat noodles by herself. and she eats very quickly. zai :D

lol. my schedule is full but then at times like now i don't really have anything to do-.- i should be doing my theory homework actually. I always bring to cgm and do during my break on the day of my piano lesson. super last minute XP hmm seems like people are still busy celebrating cny. very little ppl online. a lot of my friends seem to be having fun learning driving. haha makes me feel like learning too cuz it sounds fun. but eh no car to drive so no point learning. at least it's not that urgent. pass my theory exam first then say ba.

2010-02-14T22:25:00.002+08:00

Happy Chinese New Year!!! XD

Went to church today. I think it's been very long since I went to church during CNY. In fact, I don't even remember if I went for CNY service before. Cuz we used to go to popo's house earlier. But it's getting later and later now. Today, when I came back from service, Yan was still sleeping -.- And we weren't the first at popo's house:)

I think dressing up makes me feel tired. Cuz it's not 'me'. Or rather I'm not used to it. I was like tired for the first half of the day, I thought it was cuz I woke up early for church. But then after I changed into my casual clothes, I didn't feel tired anymore. Maybe the wrong degree of contacts gives a headache too. or maybe that's just my own opinion. Point is I'm still more comfortable not dressing up at least as of now. But I guess when you're used to it, it seems like you and you won't really feel weird or different.

Hmm that's when I love you seems to be my new favourite song for now. And new favourite phrase 'Hey apple!'. Haha to understand that, go watch the annoying orange. The orange is really irritating but it's very funny :D

2010-02-07T21:35:00.002+08:00

It's Sunday today!

Went church. Helped with the Hi-kids. Watched Ponyo haha. I finally finish watching it. The song is really cute :) Everytime at creative the children will 'rock their boats' to this song. And they look super cute rocking to the song :D

Then sang for youth. And had cell outing. Basically ate lunch, shopped and took lots of pictures:) Jump shots are tiring, esp when you have to jump a lot of times cuz cannot get one nice one. But we had fun. Very tired now:/ Oh but we got a cool cell picture. Our cell size instantly doubled haha :D

I realised what's the problem already. My life has no direction now. It's not that I don't have anything to do. I have things to do everyday. But there's just like no focus. I shall find out more about university and read more books. Pray.

2010-02-06T22:28:00.003+08:00

When you have to look away
When you dont have much to say
Thats when I love you
I love you, just that way
To hear you stumble when you speak
Or see you walk with two left feet
Thats when I love you
I love you, endlessly
And when your mad cuz you lost a game
Forget Im waiting in the rain
Baby i love you,I love you anyway
Heres my promise made tonight
You can count "on" me for life
Thats when i love you
When nothing you do can change my mind
The more I learn, The more I love
The more my heart cant get enough
Thats when I love you, no matter what
So when you turn to hide your eyes
Cause the movie it made you cry
Thats when I love you
I love you a little more each time
And when you cant quite match your clothes
Or when you laugh at your own jokes
Thats when I love you
I love you, more than youll know
And when you forget that we had a date
Or that look that you get when you show up late
Baby I love you, I love you anyway
Heres my promise made tonight
You can count "on" me for life
Thats when i love you
When nothing you do can change my mind
The more I learn, The more I love
The more my heart cant get enough
Thats when I love you,
When I love you no matter what
Thats when I love you
When nothing baby
Nothing you do could change my mind
The more I learn, The more I love
The more my heart cant get enough
Thats when I love you,
When I love you no matter what
No matter what

This song reminds me of God's love even if it didn't mean that originally. That God loves us no matter what. That we can count on Him now and forever. Because God loves us even when we're disobedient, when we're naughty, when we turn away from Him and hurt Him, when we do things that even make us hate ourselves. It is often in these kind of trying times that love is tested. Human love cannot withstand these. We retaliate when people hurt us, we want to hurt them back. We want revenge when people betray us. We get angry when people don't match up to our expectations. But God loves us anyway.

'The more I learn, the more I love, the more my heart can't get enough.' That's how our love for God should be. Because He first loved us.

2010-02-06T16:19:00.002+08:00

Haven't post for quite some time. Haha am I really that busy? People like to say that I'm very free since I don't need to study. Not true lor! Oh well, maybe more free than last time.

By today, all the guys who go NS in Feb should have been in already. Wah, a lot of hair cut off these 3 days XP Nvm, they won't read this until maybe chinese new year.

Yay! Chinese New Year is coming:) It's a holiday! 4 days of no work. And 2 days of celebrations. The children will definitely be very cute in their new year costumes. Must bring camera to take picture:) Next week art will be spent making new year decorations. should be fun :) I'll kope ideas from Creative and teach the children in CGM :P Creative is really very nicely decorated. The children started making new year decorations since about 2 weeks ago. So everywhere is nice and red now :D

Hmm I think I should start doing something productive. I don't know what yet though. But it's like every week I just work a lot. Should think of something that I like and want to do. Maybe reading books isn't a bad idea. Instead of using the com for 4 hours every week don't know doing what. Waste of time tsk.

2010-01-25T20:32:00.004+08:00

Okay, pictures of the kids! :)

2010-01-20T20:43:00.003+08:00

Oh wow. don't need to wait until sunday. I lost my voice already haha. Let's see if it'll get well by sunday. I'm on choir duty on sunday! :/

No voice how to teach tmr? hmm... tmr got 2 hrs of math lesson somemore. I think they'll be glad to have one hour free period. Like more than happy. oh wells... i'm trying to be nicer to the kids and not to have a bad impression of them. I gave them stickers today at the end of the day for no apparent reason haha.

I need to learn how to be consistent in stuff...

oh no. theory homework haven't do:/

2010-01-19T21:48:00.003+08:00

Went for SP band concert yesterday. It was quite good :) I miss band:/ nvm, appassionata is coming soon :) and this year's alumni band will be awesome!

I'm losing my voice soon. Maybe by this sunday. then don't need to make announcement XP

well, I'm going to rant. I was really upset just now. But now much better already. The K2 kids are seriously not behaving very well. (what an understatement -.-) I am so not looking forward to music and outdoors lesson now. They go totally wild. Worse than the animals we see in the zoo. Ok, not fair to refer to all of them. But most of the boys lah. Today was the worst so far i think.

Today's music lesson. 5mins go toilet and get them to be quiet sitting down. They were quiet enough for less than one minute to listen to me tell them to stand up and spread out around the room. Next 10mins run around, shout, scream, fight, play with the mike, complain to me. Last 5mins get them to line up and walk back up to class. End of lesson (what lesson?)

I'm trying my best not to lose my temper. I realised that's not the most difficult thing though. The most difficult thing is to control my yan shen. But I'm really beginning to cannot stand them already. I cannot even bring myself to smile at them at the start of the school day. It's like the start of a new day and I'm already like that. rah. cannot like that!

I just realised that Wei Jie is violent. He 'punched' his classmates at least 10 times today. It's obviously not that kind of very pain will leave bruise that kind of punch. But it's still not right to punch ppl. And he just ran out of class to the toilet without asking for permission. And when I 'm like standing there waiting for him and another 2 guys to shut up so that they can go back to class, he just continue talking like nothing like that. Super rude. And he was playing very roughly with his classmates so I grabbed his hand and wanted to make him stand beside me. I think he thought that I was going to drag him out of the class cuz I threatened that before. Then he refuesed to stand up, rolled about on the floor and used his free hand beat me. pro right. guess what will happen if I beat him instead. Who's the one in the wrong lah. And why am I getting hit! He thinks one sentence of 'teacher I don't want' can get him away from everything right. funny. I also don't want him to fight, scream, shout and play but how come I don't get my way and he must get his. I'm really going to bring him to the office the next time. Sorry but I'm really quite irritated with him.

I still cannot stop feeling the way I feel though I'm not supposed to be affected. I know it's rude but I really just feel like daoing ppl whenever they do it.

2010-01-13T20:37:00.002+08:00

I seriously don't know what i'm spending my time on when i switch on my laptop-.- after half an hour, i haven't started on what i want to do. today need to make present and do theory homework. tmr got piano lesson and i haven't started my homework! :/

I'm going to update on all the kids haha. the kids at the childcare are getting better. more guai:) most of them stop crying already. except a few. ethan is long winded lol. he can repeat the same thing over and over again without getting tired o.o but he's cute when he stops crying and whining. and this boy called Eason also. Every 5 minutes he'll ask "ba ba yao lai le mah?" mm then Joyleen is really cute. She's one of the smallest there and eating is her favourite thing in the world! During lunch she just sits there and eat by herself and eat a lot of servings until we must stop giving her when she asks. There's a new girl called Michelle today. She's very cute too! Quite independent though she's quite small:) Jayden is very cheeky. And he walks on tiptoes o.o but he was dancing very well today:D Vicki is getting much better. She hardly cried today:) And the way she asks questions is very cute. Say Siong is improving too. Though he still not very used to it and throw tantrums sometimes. But he has a very nice smile when he's pleasant:) Getting him to bathe is a horror though. Me and another teacher had to force him to bathe and he'll cry like mad. I heard he lay on the toilet floor yesterday when he was forced to bathe o.o Oh he loves Thomas the train. He's super cute when he exclaims 'Thomas!' XD And there are a lot more kids like Hayley, Cheryl, Jia Rui, Jia Le, Yue er, Leroy, Tara, Alyssa, Kendrick, Su yong and I cannot remember who else. Blog abt them next time when they do something to leave an impression :) haha yes my vocab is bad. too bad all the kids are just too cute XP

Kindergarten is another story. Seriously, they're bigger but they behave worse. The guys are very rowdy. like to fight and quarrel and stuff. Then come and complain to me after that -.- Bryston is already planning to push Branden into the pond when they go to science centre this friday -.- I'm so not looking forward to fishing anyone out from the pond. girls are generally okay. Oh and I realised today that I don't have to teach them how to spell numbers. Just need to recognise them. whew. I spent more than ten minutes the last lesson trying to get them to spell 'twenty' when I have 40mins to teach one to fifty :/ art is ok cuz only got half the class :) Yao Guang's music lesson seem to have gone better than mine XP

Oh i realised 3 year old kids don't really bother abt gender differences. Cuz today the boys were bathing and we were helping them. And they were not wearing clothes cuz lining up to bathe. Ethan totally lie across my leg when I was sitting down. I was like 'okay...' but I think it didn't bother him at all haha. But oh well, they are kids afterall :)

End of an interesting day :)

2010-01-11T20:38:00.003+08:00

today first day at the childcare! :) haha spend the day playing with kids and i get paid for it. so good right? XD the children are really cute though some of them keep crying. but well, they're on 3 so ya, understandable. according to my parents, i went there when i was young and i cried for 3 days and they gave up trying to put me there XP haha so when i see the children crying, i'm reminded of myself.

comparatively, K2s are more difficult to handle. they cannot seem to keep quite or behave themself. really don't know if i should try to keep them quiet then start teaching or just teach when they're noisy. if i try to keep them quiet, the time for lesson will be halved:/ but then when they're noisy, they cannot hear me also. all the mischievious boys tsk...

oh but today there's finally someone my age at the kindergarten. very good! someone that i can talk to. he's yaoguang. mm yan and his brother went to apple tree together last time i think haha. he asked me if we met before at apple tree. lol how i remember. but ya, i think i talked more to him today than to all the teachers add up together. funny how ppl in the same age group can clique well. as in i really thought i got along with adults and small kids quite well lol. but he won't be here for long lah. need to go army. but for now, there's someone to be blur with me haha.

2010-01-10T22:34:00.002+08:00

be confident. quite a few ppl have told me that. but i think over the years, i've grown to become a person who is 'easygoing' or maybe rather a person with no opinions. which is bad. like this is the third time i'm typing this paragraph. it's easier said than done lah. i'm too bothered about what ppl say and do though i try to tell myself not to.

lol. i have no idea what the point of this post is. i just didn't want to narrate cuz it's boring XP aiya. i should do this kind of thing when i'm concentrating. i'm watching tv now haha. so i shall stop here :)

2010-01-07T22:47:00.003+08:00

Short post cuz I don't have much time. I'm tired and want to sleep but still got things to do:/

mm God is good. I found a job. actually 2 jobs. morning helping at a childcare centre. afternoon teaching at a church kindergarten. pay not a lot but i think i will enjoy them more than the previous job.

today went to play arcade, went to work and went to surprise someone. and now i'm tired.

ok, i shall type as much things for daddy as possible before i fall asleep.

2010-01-04T22:15:00.002+08:00

Playing with babies is good. You won't really be disappointed because you don't expect much from them. Even if they reject you or something, you can always comfort yourself with the fact that they don't know what they are doing. They are young and innocent. And maybe they just don't know how to express themselves properly.

Actually, the only 'person' that doesn't disappoint is God. Through the ups and downs in my life, I've realised that God is always there. He never forsakes me the way I forget about Him whenever I become busy or something crops up.

2010-01-01T12:09:00.002+08:00

Hmm seems like I haven't blogged for quite a while. First post of 2010! :)

Last few days of 2009 were eventful? I guess you can say that. at least sort of. I had a class christmas gathering, a cell bbq, a week of work experience, family countdown and some good talks with ppl.

Now I need to decide what to do with my life. hmmm... a bit scared to overcommit. But I think I should try it since I've always been very cautious to keep myself from being so busy. Though my parents may disagree and think that I'm doing too many things in church. But oh wells, they said I can spend everyday in church if I want after A levels. So I shall take their word for it. Not that I really will spend everyday in church lah haha. Maybe just have even more church stuff to do than last year. Now A levels is no longer an excuse:)

Anyway, sat is my last day at NUH haha. Finding a new job now. I realised my January weekends are rather filled :)

Oh i went to watch Alvin and the chipmunks 2.(i think that's the title) It's really cute haha :) The chipmunks are cute XD

Things to do: Plan my first term, pack my table(again... cuz I dumped all my taiwan stuff on my table:/), pack my cupboards, do taiwan trip reflections.

2009-12-20T21:20:00.002+08:00

I shall blog abt the taiwan trip so far! It's going to be very narrative cuz I need to remember what happened so that I can 'translate' my reflections to chinese when I get back. Oh I hope youth camp was good :)

First day:
Reached Taiwan airport and met daddy there:) Then went to the hotel to stay. The room is super nice and big with a nice toilet! And we went shopping! Bought one notebook which was really expensive! Didn't look at the price before buying. I was thinking 'notebook prices all abt there so nvm'. Well, learnt my lesson. The hard way:/ Yup, then had dinner and went back to the hotel. And played pool! There was a pool table there and we could play for free:) Yup, after that played cards a while and went to sleep. Oh the tv there has like 100 plus channels -.-

Second day:
Woke up and had breakfast at the hotel. It was really nice:) Then took bus to mingdao high school. Met our group members and all the teachers and students there. The school is really big and the ppl are nice. I have nice group members:) That morning we had our first 'lesson'. It was abt yushan. Some mountain in Taiwan basically. Then we had lunch. They don't use spoons to eat and they drink soup from cups o.o After lunch, we went out to see a train station. It's quite cool. And also went to make sun biscuits! haha. It's a direct translation from tai yang bing. It tastes not bad:) Then we went to meet the shi zhang. Erm... mayor? I dunno. He's quite hmm inspiring? Just gives the feeling that he's a good mayor haha. Yup, then the first night was home stay. The sight of all the school buses coming to fetch the students home is really something we will never get to see in Singapore. There were like 50 over school buses at the carpark waiting for the students. Singapore like have abt 6 at the most? And that's only half the students cuz it was the second round of school bus already. So we took the school bus to one of the students house. Her house is super big! Even bigger than caroline's-.- It was I think 6 storey high and there's a lift in the house. There's also a basement which was the karaoke room. We slept there. Like can fit 7 ppl. But we sang karaoke till like 2am before going to sleep haha. Yu Xuan's voice is super cute! She sounds like a small kid. Oh dinner was at a night market:)

Third day:
Woke up super sleepy and slightly late so had to rush for school bus. Didn't have time to eat breakfast. There was morning assembly and we were introduced to the entire school. Stood in front of like 7000 plus people. Fortunately not at the first row and I didn't need to speak-.- Then we went to visit the paper dome and a tea place. Followed by lunch then ri yue tan, sun moon lake XP We cycled at that place. But for a really short distance only:/ Then we went back to school for a talk abt the different 'racial groups' (for lack of better word) in taiwan. the speaker was really good. Her singing is pro haha. And yan was chosen to dress up in one of the costumes. After that our buddies told us to grab our stuff and hurry to catch the school bus. I was rather blur but just followed. We dragged our luggage like across the entire school to get to the main gate, hoping that the school bus haven't left. Super cool, Like weaving through all the ppl and running in the wind. Fortunately there was a red light at the school gate there and we managed to catch the bus:D Went to Yun Yi's house this time. Her house is big too! She has 3 sisters and each of them have their own room o.o Yup, went to feng jia night market and ate a lot of different kinds of food. Nice:) Haha I think the food in the ye shi is like the nicest. Cuz there's like a huge variety for us to choose and the food is really not bad. Then her sis came to fetch us back and we slept after bathing.

Fourth day:
Had a lesson abt poems and songs in the morning. Then went to a literature museum and had lunch on the bus. McDonald's! Haha I wanted to try taiwan macs. Ate some burger that Singapore doesn't have. Quite nice:) Then we went to this school to have a talk by yu guang zhong. He's supposedly very famous. And walked around the school to look at his stuff. Had dinner at huang que lou then went to 'love river' to take a boat ride. It was cool:) Like both literally and non-literally. After that went to the place we were staying to sleep. We had 13 ppl sleeping in the same room:/ Took like super long to bathe cuz only had 2 bathing cubicles. Then we taught the taiwan ppl how to play PIG! :) Haha super funny as always. And we also played I never. Then started talking to this shanghai girl or rather listening to her. She was really entertaining. All her stories were hilarious seriously. She just talked for like 1 hour and we just listened and keep laughing. I fell asleep at abt 3am. Apparently the Shanghai girl didn't sleep at all o.o I can't remember her name:/

Fifth day:
We basically were in the bus the whole day. Travelled from taizhong to taidong I think. Spent abt a total of 8 hours in the bus. We were singing karaoke the whole day throughXP Actually I wanted to sleep but end up singing. Slept for half an hour only. Oh and we saw the pacific ocean. Very pretty:) Went to take pictures also. We went to some museum place and watched a dance performance by one of the 'racial groups'. All children. Very nice:) Then they made us dance also haha. Oh one of the songs they danced to was 'every move I make'. I bet they don't know it's a Christian song. But isn't it so cool? Reached our staying place at night. It's a lot nicer than the previous night's. Had 6 ppl in a room and we have a view of the pacific ocean from the balcony! The waves are really really nice! Can sit there and see whole day. Makes me think of how amazing God is to have created this. I sat at the balcony watching the waves and listening to 'Indescribable' :) OH! There was an earthquake! Quite big like 6.8 on the Ritcher scale and the center was at the place we were staying in. Like we were in our room and suddenly the whole room started shaking quite a lot! We were like 'what's happening?!' cuz we didn't have any taiwan ppl in our room so all nv experience before. Then someone started banging on our door and we opened it to see everyone standing outside their room. Apparently the first thing u do when there's an earthquake is to open the door so that the door won't go out of shape and we all get stuck inside. The shaking stopped after a while. It was super funny. All our room ppl were super excited and laughing, like cuz we never experience earthquake before so I guess it was quite exciting. Then taiwan ppl super scared. Zhe Yi was like 'why are u all laughing? It was so scary!' Then we laughed even more haha. After bathing, went to the other of our group's room. Played UNO and pig. Some ppl don't know how to play UNO o.o Yup, then went to sleep abt 1am.

Sixth day:
Woke up and had breakfast with an ocean view. The breakfast was delicious! Nicest breakfast in taiwan so far. I'm looking forward to tmr's breakfast:) Morning was quite cold. My hands were like freezing and a bit numb. Had another lesson abt poems. I think the poems are quite cool, especially the one with lots of puns. Then we went to tai lu ge. It's this place with a lot of natural scenery esp mountains. The mountains were magnificent! Reminds me of God's awesomeness again:) I want to go there and climb it some day! Then we went for lunch. Nicest lunch so far also. The soup was nice! After that we were supposed to go cycling. So we cycled. Yan and I were cycling together and we just followed the ppl in front. The ppl at the back were quite slow and we couldn't really see them so we just cycled on and on. After a really long time, we saw the front ppl turning back. They said we went too far, like a lot further than we were supposed to go. All the other ppl already went back and returned their bikes! So we had to cycle back. And after cycling for so long, our legs were very tired. And we were really very late:/ Then we went to visit some place abt the racial groups again. After that had dinner by ourselves at this street. Like just walk ourselves and eat whatever you want. Didn't really eat a lot. I bought shoes! Then we returned to some coffee place to listen to this author talk. It was really cool! He talked abt the ocean and all the ocean creatures! He has awesome pictures and really entertaining stories. I think he's one of the best speakers so far:) Yup, then we went back to the place by the ocean and that's where I am now!

So that's the trip so far. Made a lot of friends:) There are 10 ppl from Singapore, 20 ppl from Taiwan, 2 from Beijing and 7 from Shanghai. And the day here seems very long. Or rather the night. Cuz it's dark really early like abt 6. Then I'm very used to sleeping soon after the sun sets. So it seems like I spend a lot more time awake cuz I spend a lot more time in the dark. Hopefully it makes sense -.- English is so much easier to 'write' than chinese. I'm supposed to review what I learnt everyday in Chinese and I think for super long and write one short paragraph -.- So I gave up and decided to go home and slowly think. So narrate everything here so I can remember what happened:) ok, shall stop here.

2009-12-14T22:14:00.003+08:00

Had baking session today with cell! :) haha quite fun but tiring...

Baked from abt 10 to 6, including buying ingredients and lunch break. so long... but i think consider quite fast already. cuz quite a lot of ppl doing together. That time I did 2 batches alone, took super long. Yup, it's for jael to eat during youth camp :) hope they like it.

Tmr going taiwan. going to be there for 10 days. missing christmas in singapore :(

Have fun at youth camp ppl! :)

I just have to post this XP

2009-12-13T22:38:00.003+08:00

Sunday! :)

I'm still tired. Don't know why. Millie came today! And she's going for youth camp:) But I'm not :( Ps Andrew didn't manage to rush back in time:/ I realised that when you have more things to worry abt and focus on, being afraid of hearing your own voice seems like such a small problem-.- At least I tried. That wasn't so bad after all, was it?:) Didn't have cell in the end. Baking tmr! Joyce has one of the recipes and she's not coming -.- let's see how we bake. Iain didn't come :(

2009-12-12T22:53:00.003+08:00

I woke up early today to pack my stuff cuz I wanted to go Angelia's house to play guitar hero. Then I got a call saying that they're only there until 1 so I couldn't go in the afternoon. Got cheated to wake up early -.- But well, I guess it's a good thing or I would have like slept until dunno what time.

I realised you need quite a bit of knowledge to print booklet:/ I printed like 2 times wrongly before I managed to get the correct one. Firstly, you must know how to insert ur paper so that the ink comes out on the correct side. Like visualise 'if it goes in this way, it'll come out this way...' Secondly, must get the page numbers correct cuz it's not in order. As in one piece of paper will have 2 pages from the front and 2 pages from the back so you better get it right. Thirdly, in order to print it nicely two-sided, some pages u type the page numbers with the smaller one first while other pages you have to type it with the bigger number first so that the left and right will be correct. know all these and it'll save you paper and ink :)

And I also filed everything. ok, actually not really file. In fact, I took everything out of their files -.- ya, and put them into stacks and into plastic bags and seal nicely and put them on top of a cupboard. I was like 'If I find any random piece of notes now I'll just throw it away'. Like seriously. No way am I going to take everything down and unseal and file that one piece of paper and put everything nicely back again. so troublesome.

yup. and had elmm gathering. had 'christmassy food' sort of haha. and had games, or rather, game. the game went quite well i think. It lasted for 45mins haha. Thanks Jeremy for carrying it out:) I really didn't want to/: And I didn't get any prizes:( actually koped one. Then Gabriel wanted so I gave to him lo. I should have taken 2 then Cheryl could have one too. I am actually quite tired after the gathering although I didn't really do anything. Maybe stress makes u feel tired too haha. I'm glad that one thing is over. Now left cell since camp booklet is done too! I left out one name. I'm sorry:(

I really feel like sleeping already. But need to pack for tmr. I shall go pack and go sleep :) or maybe watch tv XP

2009-12-10T23:10:00.002+08:00

I realised how one word is so open to intepretation and can mean so many things depending on how you see it.

I realised that the best kind of hurt is most probably physical. It heals the fastest I guess. Other kinds of hurt may not heal even over time.

I'm done with camp booklet! :D

2009-12-09T22:27:00.002+08:00

"Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may be blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe as you hold out the word of life." Philippians 2: 14-16a

How do you differentiate between complaining and venting frustrations? will someone die of having too much vent inside? Is complaining to nobody counted as complaining? Is venting frustrations in a blog counted as complaining?

honor your parents. so where's the line between listening to everything they say and having your own opinions?

I'm not even sure if i really want the answers

2009-12-09T19:59:00.002+08:00

Haha I really got something on everyday. very good :D at least I know that I did something that day and not like waste it away in front of the com.

Yesterday went to play frisbee at wcp! Quite a lot of people, not bad haha. But as usual I just did catching. Didn't really catch a lot though. Maybe I should try running ard next time, more fun and exercise more. But I need to be able to throw properly first XP

Today woke up early to file notes. I filed everything except GP. not bad right XD and i realised it's not my school notes that make my table messy. Cuz I file finish already but it's still messy -.- yup, then went jurong east swimming pool to swim/ play. Due to Thaddeus' great planning, end up only got 4 ppl XP me, isaac, thaddeus and willy. But still very fun. Oh gosh. even before we started swimming, an iguana got into the pool first. It was like swimming in the lazy river and the lifeguards were trying to catch it. Cause quite a commotion cuz it was like almost one metre long o.o we started swimming after it was done with its swim :)

went on slides, lazy river, wave pool, even went to swim laps. and we did the 'hardworking river' too! haha like walk against the current for one round. tiring..... and the guys just like to keep capsizing each other lol. yup, and I came home with muscle aches. half from yesterday and half from today:/ But had lots of fun lah. and exercise! :D oh should see isaac behaving abnormally. super funny! whee! willy and I laughed like mad haha.

ok time to do camp booklet. did the elmm thing yesterday. one thing off my list!:) there's still like 9 items there -.-

2009-12-08T01:29:00.003+08:00

Prom is over! Photos on facebook. No point posting both sides right? :D

Haha I spent really little on prom. Like $7. Borrowed dress, shoes, bag and accessories from xiao gu :) And xiao gu helped me with make up too. Thank you!!! I think she's really pro. I should learn from her some day:D

Went ama house with yang lu to get ready with xiao gu's help:) did mask and everything. gosh. so many things to do and put can. haha when we were done I wanted to take photo with ama. She's so cute. Purposely go into the room to comb hair then come out take photo XD yup then took cab to city hall. I think we were quite late:P

Hmm to summarise the whole thing, it was just trying to find everybody you know to take pictures :) Didn't really eat also. They clear away the food very fast lah! Haven't eat finish then they take away already :/ But the food was not bad, at least those dishes that I ate. I think I managed to take picture with most ppl that I wanted to :) And as usual, facebook will take a really long time to upload them -.- Oh Luther performed with the choir ppl. And Jillian and Kian Kheong won most compatible couple! :D Eh I really don't know what else to post cuz we really only take pictures. shall stop here then! :)

2009-12-06T22:25:00.002+08:00

Have quite a lot of things to do but I have decided to blog first! Later must do camp booklet, elmm gathering thing, erm comm stuff? ya.

Yup, so A levels is officially over! Haha a bit lag but nvm.

After that went for the Edge conference. It was awesome! I am really impressed with the youths there! :D and the worship band! and the messages! Haha it was really great. And I think it came at a really right time. Cuz like A level period didn't really have a lot of time for God so the conference fired me up again. And what better time to listen to those messages about us having a lot more things to do for God than after A levels and I have like 8 months of holidays before me! XD Yes! SHOUT for God :) I want to go back vfc again:) Learnt too much to summarise here. I'll go internalise them first before I decide if I want to post them:) I really like their band!

I realised I cannot really multi task if that's counted as a task lol. But good way to forget abt the previous task haha. Millie came for church today :D And the movie was nice:)

Do the right thing, come what may.

Set us apart for You.

2009-12-01T21:31:00.002+08:00

I think I got a job o.o I was still thinking aiya just apply lor. so many ppl apply not so easy to get one. Then without any interview or anything, I think I'm supposed to report for work at the end of this month. Good thing is can earn money :) But there goes all my play time:( mon to fri 9-5 must work. sat maybe need also. no time to play!

I sort of want to do camp booklet. I think I should get 'permission' to do it officially and not do it unofficially then obviously it won't be used in the end. waste my own time. dumb dumb:/ But then I think I want to do it now cuz I don't feel like studying then got nothing better to do. Cannot! Must study:/ still got bio mcq haiz... must be focused so that i won't screw up bio.

Oh i'm done with my chinese essay:) But i think it's a bit off focus. It's supposed to be a holiday experience. the first one third of my essay talks abt before the trip. the middle one third talks abt during the trip. and the last one third is sort of reflections. what holiday experience -.- and I was doing word count after every paragraph XP

I almost forgot to send out the minutes. Break for too long already. See what A levels do to people. Today they had band outing to sentosa. Cannot go cuz still got one more paper. Physics ppl finish already:( Luther still had to call me to remind me that he's going -.- haha ok lah. it wasn't on purpose. I think Mr Khairul's half of the class have mcq camp today and tmr lol. meng mug mcq. I think I should reread some of my notes cuz my bio knowledge seems to have disappeared:/

I went to watch some survivor episodes on youtube. Quite interesting actually haha:) Now then I start watching tsk. But I think quite difficult to simulate the show.

I want my fac shirts :)

2009-11-30T23:00:00.003+08:00

went to school today for mcq lesson -.- then after that went far east and orchard for lunch and to sort of shop though i had no intention to buy anything.

met delfina, liang lao shi and liu lao shi just now when mummy and i went downstairs for dinner. such a coincidence.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY IVAN!!!

gosh it's 11 already. I am supposed to be writing my chinese essay. but i really don't know what to write about. my recent holidays don't seem interesting or i cannot remember what happen already. and i cannot come up with stories cuz i have no imagination. i think my essay will end up like one of my narrative blogposts, just that in chinese. i really don't feel like writing. whatever chinese stuff i had is gone along with my CLL A levels. not that i really could write a good essay in the first place. I never write narratives:/ haiz... shall just write. I don't care if they think my chinese is horrible. because it is.

2009-11-29T21:33:00.002+08:00

Went for band concert yesterday. Got partially cheated. I thought it was high school and college combined concert. Turned out to be high school concert with college as guest band -.- nvm, i didn't pay for the ticket anyway so didn't cost me any money:) I didn't crash. I was helping out at the ticketing booth. So after finish then just walk in and listen XD Happy to see my juniors again:) Luther Chai just had to buy some funny yellow, green, red pepper for them -.- I miss my trumpet:( I realised I still can play though:) Yay! Oh Nicholas said he cannot recognise me cuz I look very different. I shall take that as a good thing haha. But then, he hasn't seen me in for one year lah XP

I realised I shouldn't have decided on things so quickly. Now the consequences are bugging me. But to be optimistic, maybe I finally know how those ppl feel. Not that it's a good thing haha. But what's done is done. The only thing that can be done now is to bear with it.

Today went ama house after a long time of not going. But ah hao wasn't there. He went back china:( i think he would have grown a lot the next time i see him cuz so long nv see him. I think Iain also haha. Iain should grow 'faster' cuz he's currently smaller.

I think I've bought more clothes in these past few days than I have for the entire year o.o

I sort of miss school haha. Miss lessons where we can sit together and talk and erm not listen to the teacher (esp during lectures)XP miss going high school to eat zha jiang mian. miss the forever very funny CLL lessons. miss mixing chemicals in an attempt to get nice colours during chem lab. miss the wacky things that our class will do(hmm not a lot though haha) miss PE cuz playing games were really fun. miss spending the entire day with classmates and bandmates. miss playing for morning assembly and complaining abt luther being late XP miss walking back from salt at night and looking at the stars from the terraces.

2009-11-27T21:08:00.002+08:00

Been shopping these 2 days :) Bought some stuff. Haven't been shopping for very long before this.

I really dunno what to write. Like a lot of thoughts but dunno how to pen down. Describing my day seems very superficial.

Two things happened that made me feel a bit down? I have no idea why I am affected also. Shouldn't be:/ It's like none of my business lol.

It's irritating to be not be able to blog openly abt stuff. What's a blog for then? -.- Oh, I know already! :)

Jesus has overcome
And the grave is overwhelmed
The victory is won
He is risen from the dead
I will rise when He calls my name
No more sorrow, no more pain
I will rise on eagle's wings
Before my God, fall on my knees

2009-11-25T20:54:00.002+08:00

Left one paper :)

Paper 3 was fine. nothing can beat prelims, so it's ok. chem mcq was not as easy? rah. why don't give the 2005 standard:/ but i think i did ok lah. although it's not as good as what i aimed for, but since the A and B ppl (in my class) got the same number of mistakes as me, i'm satisfied, considering I got an S for prelims. Must really thank Jia Wei if I do well for chem:) aiya, don't do well also must thank him. Cuz he really helped me a lot. Thank you!!! :)

yup, so yesterday was the first day of slacking :) had lots of fun yesterday and today:)

oh watched 2012 on on mon. it's nice:) rather thought-provoking i think. it's going to be really scary when the world ends. i think much worse that what the movie shows. esp when we are the ones there instead of just being the audience.

2009-11-19T21:54:00.002+08:00

i spent the past 2 days compiling and arranging paper 3 answers. but i dunno if anything got into my head-.- should have lah right. through diffusion XD

read new moon yesterday and breaking dawn today:) spent a lot of time though:/

i'm sleepy already. it's only 10pm. haven't started chem.

i shan't use the laptop tmr. i'll just tend to slack quite a lot.

should learn from Jia Wei. the internet makes a good teacher. relatively lah. if u manage to find the right things :)

2009-11-17T20:52:00.002+08:00

since I'm slacking today, I shall blog. 3 more papers left. yay!

today a few things happened. firstly, after the paper, i took bus back home. then on the bus this njc guy sat beside me then after a while he shifted to the back. then when he was getting off the bus, I realised it was ah le -.- he didn't recognise me either. lol. i actually thought the guy looked like him but i could only see side view when he sat beside me so i don't dare to call him -.- and his bag looked different also.

secondly, daddy, yan and I went lot 1 foodcourt for dinner. then when we were leaving, we passed by this nanyang girl. and she was wearing nycb shirt then i exclaimed 'band!'. the whole family turned around to look at me -.- gosh. so embarrassing:/ i pretended to not know that they were looking at me and just walk off lol.

and yup, i slacked my day away today:) watched tv, sleep, play game, read book, make jelly, etc. haha wanted to play piano and guitar but haven't yet. maybe should leave that for the next 5 days when i'm bored of studying.

jiayou econs ppl! :)

2009-11-15T22:07:00.001+08:00

Thank you Lord for the trials that come my way,
In that way I can grow each day as I let You lead.
And thank You, Lord, for the patience those trials bring,
In that process of growing I can learn to care.

But it goes against the way I am,
to put my human nature down,
And let the Spirit take control of all I do.
For when those trials come,
my human nature shouts the things to do;
And God's soft prompting can be easily ignored.

I thank You Lord with each trial I feel inside,
That You're there to help lead and guide me away from wrong.
'Cause You promised Lord that with every testing,
that Your way of escaping is easier to bear.

But it goes against the way I am
to put my human nature down,
And let the Spirit take control of all I do.
For when those trials come,
my human nature shouts the thing to do;
And God's soft prompting can be easily ignored.

I thank You Lord for the victory that growing brings,
In surrender of everything life is so worthwhile.
And I thank You Lord that when everything's put in place,
Out in front I can see Your face, and it's there You belong.

2009-10-10T22:56:00.003+08:00

wow. i haven't blogged for almost a week:) that's a good thing:) haha. shall blog today then hopefully will stop until after A levels unless I have something pertinent to blog about.

I am getting into the mugging mood:) Quite productive until i went to sleep:/ I should not sleep in the afternoon. shall try means and ways to keep myself awake haha.

I realised what it means by without God, we cannot do anything. Cuz like we try our best to do things in the way that we think that it should be done. But nothing really gets done without God. Like we thought about what we should do last week. Then this week when it was mentioned again, I feel that what we discussed was rather insignificant? like ya, we tried our best. But this is something too big for us to be able to change. If God doesn't help us, no matter how hard we try, there's a limit as to what we can actually do. Not saying that we shouldn't try our best though. Just that God is still the most important.

And also, like sometimes when we put things in our face so that we can see it daily and hopefully remind us to do a certain thing. I realised that if in our hearts, we are not willing to do anything, no amount of post-its, reminders or anything visual that we try to put up will help. we can see it everyday and ignore it and eventually look at it as just a passing object of no significance.

everything boils down to what we really want doesn't it?

what is the purpose of your life? can anyone really answer that question?

Lord we need Your grace and mercy. We need to pray like never before. We need the power of Your Holy Spirit to open heaven's door.

2009-10-05T22:00:00.002+08:00

gosh. how come ppl can blog so openly about their feelings and nobody knows what they're talking abt :/ i really cannot. somehow i'll just reveal to much lol.

anyways, i realised i forgot to talk abt sat and and yesterday's dinner.

Sat we celebrated maf and jamie's birthday. so we had bbq! but it was raining. so we had bbq in the rain! all the more exciting :) the food was really nice:) and jamie's ice-cream cake was nice too! but she didn't want to eat -.-

oh before the bbq, i went to 'be a teacher'. basically just go to some place to play a movie for kids to watch while i watch over them lah. I don't understand why the kids cannot just sit down and watch the movie properly. most of them can. but there are a few exceptions. they just walk around, talk to their friends, play among themselves etc-.- that movie was one of the longest one i watched:/ but the second group of kids were rather well-behaved fortunately:) I was dreading the time that they would stand up and start walking round. Fortunately they didn't.

Sun was daddy's chinese birthday. so we had steamboat at ama's house. nice food again! haha.

and today, yan left for shanghai for 6 weeks :(

2009-10-04T21:24:00.002+08:00

This is horrible. I'm like telling myself I cannot do it already even before I start trying. So obviously cannot right. But I somehow feel that I'm not willing to do it. No regrets? I really doubt so. right now, even if I know that I might regret it next time, I don't want to do it. I rather regret it next time when the time comes:/

Gosh. today is a sunday. supposedly my happiest day of the week. and so why is my post starting with such a depressing thought. guess i just don't want to accept it. like hopefully not accepting it means that it won't come true. what a delusion-.- God's plans are always greater. so why am i trying to live my life my way.

To end on a happy note,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CALVIN!!! :D

2009-10-02T19:46:00.002+08:00

this sun no LLYWD campaign so why no storm!!!!! :( that means one more week without storm:( and i thought he said we don't have to lead anymore. why got training o.O

difference between:

normal and common

reasoned and reasonable

love and like

think about it. quite interesting :)

2009-09-30T21:13:00.003+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY WARREN!!!

Haha. his classmates totally made him embarassed today. they bought him a pokemon bag and made him carry it around and tied a barbie doll balloon on the bag somemore. and he got a big pikachu soft toy too.

went to school early in the morning today. a lot of ppl didn't know they didn't had to report for morning assembly so they came early too haha. played for national anthem and school song:) and i did a math paper :D then got back GP compre. essay tmr then get back.

After school went to jurong point with dina:) walk around, talk, shop, eat. basically, slack. it was fun:) and i first time took 172 home. it passes by a lot of military related places i think. like some air base, keat hong camp, home academy etc.

2009-09-29T23:49:00.002+08:00

Prelims is over!

I successfully slacked for one day :) went out with class. watch some movie that wasn't worth watching-.- the fact that we're watching it is quite ironic though lol. then went to ion. first time there haha. but didn't really explore it well. i'll go back there someday. most prob after A levels.

dinner was productive haha. funny word to use i know. but ya. managed to finish discussing whatever is needed:)

i feel 'fortunate' to be able to sleep late and not worry abt what paper there is tmr :) And I am going to do what I haven't done for a long time. Tmr morning go class bench and sleep XD

But after today, it's time to get back to reality...

2009-09-27T20:34:00.003+08:00

it was really short-lived.

i couldn't sleep last night! I dunno why. was on my bed from like 12.10am to 1 plus am but cannot fall asleep. maybe i was thinking too much. cuz like don't think about anything also cannot sleep so start thinking (then all the more cannot sleep -.-) finally fell asleep though :) dunno why nowadays don't sleep as well as last time. maybe not as tired? but like now take quite long to sleep and sleep halfway will wake up. nv used to do that. last time is lie on my bed less than 5 mins fall asleep already and nv wake up until alarm clock ring one -.-

the horrible mosquito bite on my arm is becoming more unlike a mosquito bite -.- so red. and looks weird:/

STORM songlist today was super nice:) really:) i realised do projection cannot close eyes. cuz like later press wrong thing then everybody will realise except me. and i may not remember where to press also cuz i memorised most of the lyrics (for today's songs) and i cannot jump and press the correct key at the same time lol.

In desperate need of mercy
At the end of my own strength
I fall upon the kindness of Your grace
Lord I know that You are good
You came to rescue me
So please hear my humble fear

Save me Lord save me
I have nowhere else to go
Lord I trust in You alone
To save me my Saviour
I call on Your Name
Jesus save me

Lord I believe You died to set me free
Lord I believe Your blood has ransomed me

2009-09-26T22:19:00.002+08:00

Did 2 bio mcq papers today. and planned my study schedule for A levels :/ the calendar is very colourful :) And i like my new 'notebook' :D The cover is pretty:)

Went out for dinner tonight. With xiao gu, weiling, yanjun and the 3 uncles. It was a nice 'get away' if u can call it that. Like don't have to think abt school, exams, and all the other responsibilities. Just concentrate on eating haha :) And I'm happy just eating, walking around, taking food, talking to ppl, serving ppl and stuff. Like just the simple things in life. I'm glad I decided to go:) and somehow I realised that when I talk to my friends, I'm not so 'free' also. Not necessarily a bad thing though. Maybe it's like cuz I don't see my uncles and cousins often, I don't know them very well, they don't know everything about me either, so there's no stress like 'how's ur exams?' or 'so this thing how ah' and i need to make a decision. nothing was mentioned about exams at all :D

there's church tmr:) I'll bring my song lyrics in 'soft copy'. in other words, in my brain haha. :)

I should really do things when I first say I want to do them and not drag. Now I really forget the reason for it already. And I don't feel like doing it anymore.

2009-09-25T23:17:00.002+08:00

The greatest love that anyone could ever know
It overcame the cross and grave to find my soul
Til' I see You face to face
And grace amazing takes me home
I'll trust in You

With all I am I live to see Your kingdom come
And in my heart I pray You let Your will be done
Til' I see You face to face
And grace amazing takes me home
I'll trust in You

I will live to love You
I will live to bring You praise
I will live
A child in awe of You

You are the voice that called the universe to be
You are the whisper in my heart that speaks to me
Til' I see You face to face
And grace amazing takes me home
I'll trust in You

You alone are God of all
You alone are worthy Lord
And with all I am
My soul will bless Your Name

2009-09-25T19:48:00.002+08:00

Left bio and chem paper 1:) can take a short one day break after that i guess. today's break also a short one. I need paper 1 to pull me up :/ My prelim results are going to be horrible.

I think math paper 2 was better than paper 1 though. one good thing. another good thing is that some of my 'intelligent guesses' for chem paper 2 are correct:) bio paper 3 was horrible. really. came out having the jue wang feeling. read the question for so long and don't know what they are trying to say can:/ don't understand how to make intelligent guesses. rah. even paper 2 was understandable.

Nvm. talk abt nicer stuff. I saw Yanting on the bus yesterday! Super long nv see her le. haha 67 gang. we should go out some day. like after A levels:) I read storybook and played piano today:) as a form of slacking haha. Haven't touched the piano in like how long.

i can't really remember what else happened. Go school, exam, come home, study. i think. nothing exciting.

2009-09-22T19:22:00.002+08:00

It's difficult to be Christ-like. Really. Makes me realise how awesome He is to be able to be what He is. like how in the world does He do it? I fail totally. Esp with some people. I try to be. It's easy when people reciprocate. But when they don't, I don't see why I should be nice when they are not. I know I have to be nice even if people aren't because Jesus was. But I just can't. I guess I just haven't learnt to love with His love.

On the other hand, today wasn't productive. There's bio paper 3 tmr. I know I'll have to finish studying by hook or by crook. I really need to be more disciplined.

We always try to solve our problems by ourselves. We refuse to learn when we're having it easy. So God has to put us in difficult situations, to the extent of despair before we learn that we must rely on Him.

You are greater.

Everytime I listen to the song second chance, God's forgiveness never fails to strike me. He hasn't only given us a second chance. He has give us a third chance, fourth chance, fifth chance to like infinity. How many times have we failed Him, made Him sad, not listened to Him? Yet He never holds it against us. He forgives us again and again. His promises still hold even though we may have broken all the promises that we made to Him. He will never fail us though we always fail Him. How great is our God!

2009-09-21T20:40:00.002+08:00

I realised my past few posts have been quite short. so i shall blog a long one. seeing that i managed to finish studying what i wanted to study today :D

Kay. start with sat. It was totally unproductive. I don't know what i was doing either. I only know i mopped the floor, made pancakes for breakfast and wasted time in front of the com -.- Then afternoon went church for the briefing. And played cards with some youths. And went for dinner. Oh saw a lot of HC ppl at btm cuz got MAF. Then had another meeting. And here comes the interesting part!

MAF! Haha it was fun! I was determined to go for the song and mass dance session even though there was meeting. During the meeting I was like quite impatient 'are we done?' 'can I go off already?' Fortunately there was only one thing on the agenda so quite short. So went to school with Yan. Went there and met Liting and Vic-ki. We were just in time to reach there, put down bag, go round taking pictures then the song session started:) Yan, Liting, Vic-ki and I decided to huddle together cuz 2 ppl like very pathetic. Liting was like 'I think the same way too!' Then Vic-ki said 'That means me and your sister very insignificant lah!' Haha. But it was really fun! Huddle and sing the songs. Except that the huangcheng ppl near us keeping doing funny stuff and step on my leg a few times:/ Then when there was the last song we totally went high. Jump like crazy, sing super loud and out of tune and shouting everything haha. And at the end of it, we were all out of breath :D

Then there was dance session! Couldn't really remember all the dances. But follow the dance ic. Yan was learning on the spot. Quite a good job actually! Cuz you had a good partner lah XD haha I'm glad i'm not dancing the girl part for wild wild west exp if the guy dunno the parts. turn so many rounds sure dizzy one XP And after that there were a few short cheers. And it officially ended. Then the council decided to do their dance. It was only then that you'll realise that so many councillors came back! like 4-5 batches of them. haha. Yep, so after that go home lor:)

Sunday! Went to church. I really forgot abt the questions then uncle kok cheng had to remind me by passing me the piece of paper:/ But fortunately they weren't too difficult. I like one of my answers haha. I think Calvin will like it too XD Then, Ivan last minute ask me sing for storm. He said he sent me the songlist but somehow i didn't receive it. dunno why. then Joyce and I were wondering who was on duty cuz we both weren't lol. Haha Ivan must be wondering why I was like doing the projection, running all over during prac and not singing until he told me to sing. So we had worship! :) And camp meeting.

Then went to ama house. We watch the show until don't want to go home haha. After that proceeded to popo's house. Haha so many grandmothers' house right. Iain was there! He was quite cute yesterday. As in like nv really cry when we play with him. I carry him until my hand super tired. He's getting heavy and I was swinging him around. After a while tired le. Today muscle ache -.- lucky not right hand. And after I got home I forgot to do everything I was supposed to do like type minutes and sms someone:/ I was like 'nothing to do right. ok, go sleep'

Today! Studied stats. finished probability, sampling and hypothesis testing and regression and correlation. So much right? :D Yay! Haha. Tmr must study bio and CLL. I will be productive too:)

Ok, it wasn't your fault. I was really asking why did it happen and I fell asleep-.- Oh wait. I keep forgetting that I got my ans already. Or at least I think I did. Hopefully it doesn't happen again. It wasn't very nice. I was sad:( But I'm not already! :D I still cannot figure out why it's so important though hmmm...

wow quite long:) Ok, i better go type minutes.

2009-09-18T18:19:00.002+08:00

Why do we have it if we don't follow it? I rather it doesn't come out at all lah. I was really looking forward to it for the whole week. And that one sms dashed my hopes:( Irritating. I shall not refer to it anymore. It's better to just not expect it and be happy if it comes just like last time. anyway, it's not a really serious matter. so don't worry. It's just something i like to do and i don't get to do it.

4 days to study for the next paper.

i have no idea why i don't feel like doing anything. obviously i don't want to study. but i don't even feel like sleeping, reading, using the com or anything. rah. sian. no show to watch also. i'm bored.

2009-09-17T20:28:00.002+08:00

how come everybody send stuff so late this week. i was really really looking forward to that but now i dunno already.

bio was erm not very difficult i guess. but cannot really finish. at the end of the paper mrs foo asked who finished and one guy raised his hand -.- so like 300 ppl didn't.

rah. sat. maf. meeting. briefing. why all the timing so bu san bu si :( I want to go for maf. but obviously meeting more important. and there's the sat service between the briefing and meeting. if i stay, i think mummy will tell me don't go on sun. then dunno if can go for briefing on sun cuz maybe got storm though no sms yet. and anyway i think got camp meeting though no email yet. nvm, think after tmr.

oh. my specs broke o.O haha it last for very long le. nvm i still have 2 pairs haha.

i hardly tasted my lunch today.

i will have self-control.

study chem!

2009-09-16T20:38:00.003+08:00

By right, it's in the middle of prelims and there's bio tmr so i shouldn't be blogging. but by left, here i am XD

math was difficult. there goes my A. *grows wings and flies away.

CLL was well not very difficult but well.... no comments

tmr is bio. there's somehow no sense of urgency cuz like too many things to study already. study how hard tonight also cannot finish then dunno which one more important or to concentrate on so like feel like not studying at all XP go try see how 'well' i do. haha. confirm fail. i remember things relatively quickly and forget them even more quickly. so whatever i study for exam will be gone after the exam and must study again for the next exam.

ok. i shall go study whatever i can. haiz...

2009-09-13T22:13:00.002+08:00

It's Sunday today! :D Tired but happy. I am somehow resigned to the fact that I'll never get any work done on Sunday. As in school work like study.

Rev Margaret Seaward came again. She is zai really. She's already 78 years old and she preached for 4 consecutive days at our church. yesterday and today preached twice somemore. yep. And she never runs out of stories to tell haha.

then there was youth service. I really liked the worship songs. I think Ivan chooses the nicest songs out of all the worship leaders. Maybe cuz I'm a youth too so prefer 'youth songs' XD Oh aunty sharon told me that Ivan is going to lead 'you hold me now' for main service in the 4th quarter:) haha she was like 'we're going to sing your favourite song'. But i'm not going to be on duty:/ Actually I think my 'favourite' song is only for the period of time until I hear a 'nicer' song :) There are a lot of songs that I like but favourite keeps changing haha. and oh yes. I shall sing louder in future.

"If you can shout, I'm sure you can sing louder" XD

And there was camp meeting after that. Then went to ama house. Ama cooked curry! :) Then after that went to buy sandals and reached home at like 10pm. yawns.

Oh I was reading my last year's posts yesterday and I realised I blogged very frequently and narratively and quite long somemore.

2009-09-11T14:17:00.004+08:00

Oh gosh. it's the last day of the holidays already. which means my math paper is in 4 days time. CLL in 5 days time. Bio in 6 days time and Chem in 7 days time.

Time flies. Like really flies. at the speed of erm a jetplane! fast enough? XD There's 51 days left to A levels... and 80 days to the end of it i think.

I cannot wait for Sunday! Awesome songlist haha :) And there's my recently favourite song :D

ok! time to study.

time to find a new way of doing it.